There are many ways you can lie to your spouse. With the spoken lies designed to deceive, most or you are aware when you do that. The kind of lie that often creates problems without people knowing it are those where your actions do not agree with what you say. You may be telling your spouse that your love them, that they are the most important thing in your life or something like that, but then you choose to watch golf, American Idol, football or tennis rather than to go for a walk with them. It could be that your spouse sees right through the illusion. They may quickly see that you say just about anything in the heat of the moment, but the reality is that you do not mean it.
If you have a habit of doing this, you need to take action to make sure that what you say and what you do are in agreement. When your actions do not line up with what you say, your spouse will make reference to your “blah, blah, blah”. They know that you are often all talk. You may have good intentions, or even GREAT intentions, but they know that when it comes to action…there is no follow through or only weak follow through.
This kind of lying will weaken your word. Your spouse knows it, your kids know it. The only person who doesn’t is you. I recall one of the heated discussions I once had with my mother-in-law. She angrily said to me “The problem with you is…you mean what you say!” At the time, I was not sure what to make of it. Now I realize that for many people, they often say things that they do not mean and those around them know it and get used to it. When you start meaning what you say, people often do not know how to deal with it.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
