During my early experiences as a counselor, I learned lessons from my many mentors. One of them, a pastor named Marlin Lance told me about ‘altar athletes’. At the time, I stored it away in my memory.
Years later I saw the importance of what he taught me as they relate to relationships and affairs. These athletes live life in extremes. They are often one of the first to respond to altar calls and heavily involved in church activities, yet privately they go to other extremes.
In their private life, they sleep around and have many secrets. The altar athletes may even hold prominent positions at their church while sleeping with someone else’s spouse or hiding some other secret filled with extremes like an alcohol or drug addiction.
Their whole lives are filled with extremes. Publicly they are ‘good’ people, yet in private, they lead very different lives.
When I worked as a counselor in the church, I was astounded on encountering these altar athletes. It wouldn’t have surprised me to find such patterns in bars, yet finding them in church shocked me.
The altar athletes thrive in church environments. They know that rather than be honest, those they are having affairs with will want to keep their secret lifestyle. The darker the activity, the more the secret is kept.
This is why the ‘Good Christian Woman’ can also be the dirty-mouthed lover behind closed doors. The unbelievable extremes adds to the power of their secrets.
In having secret relations, the church environment keeps their dark deeds from ever being exposed.
When their deeds are exposed, you find yourself in disbelief. You may even tell yourself “I can’t believe she would do such a thing!” This makes the whole situation more confounding.
It’s hard for those not in the extremes of life lived by the altar athlete to comprehend or make sense of. This lifestyle only starts making sense for those caught up in it. One extreme drives the other one.
You want a sense of balance and honesty, yet feel trapped by the two wide extremes. If you are caught up in such a relationship or pattern, you need help. Going to the wild extremes only keeps the unhealthy pattern going.
The altar athletes can be either gender. No group is immune from this bewildering phenomena. Breaking the pattern starts with being honest about what is going on and the extremes things are taken to.
This is where the video “How Can I Trust You Again?” comes in. Not only do you not trust them, they often don’t trust themselves.
Although the situation is an extreme one, there are ways out of it. The patterns can be changed. Change starts with honesty.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
