When you are faced with the lies that go with affair relapse, you’ll be beating yourself with questions. Such questions as ‘How did I miss it?’ or ‘Why didn’t I see that coming?’ or a host of other such questions that torment you for what you missed or did not see.
This self-questioning is common. These are one of the reasons you need to understand ‘affair relapse’ and have an ‘affair relapse plan‘ in order to prevent having to do this more than once.
Whether you are reading this to find out more about ‘affair relapse’ or you are wanting to improve your ‘affair relapse plan‘, you need to know the warning signs. There are many, but for today, we’ll focus on one.
The warning sign I want to cover today is ‘dishonesty’. When the cheater starts being dishonest again, it is one of those ‘warning signs’.
The dishonesty may be in the form of lies or being sneaky or in their business dealings. What seems to be slight dishonesty may be giving you an early warning signal.
Since dishonesty is progressive, one dishonest act often leads to more, and each is on an increasingly larger scale. They start as a series of soft, easy choices, that continue growing in seriousness and scope.
When you are recovering from an affair, there are no innocent ‘white lies’ or white dishonest acts. When the dishonesty gets large enough to hide an affair or lie about one, it is too late.
I can’t stress the importance of honesty during this stage of recovery enough. This is one reason that you need honesty. Being dishonest to avoid hurting each other or hiding secrets from each other will set yourself up to fail.
If you were dishonest in the early phase of surviving the affair, it will come back to bite you as you deal with ‘affair relapse’ and preventing it. The adage “You are as sick as your secrets” has been proven time and again at this point in recovery from an affair.
Getting back into patterns of dishonesty often feeds into the brain going into an automatic pilot mode. You know where that ‘auto pilot’ mode often leads and it is not a good place. This is why you want to identify the dishonesty before it becomes a pattern, leading to a relapse.
If you want more on Affair Relapse, then you’ll need my video on ‘Overcoming Affair Relapse‘. The video addresses relapse prevention plans, triggers and more.
Best Regards,
Jeff
