I am amazed at the resourcefulness of those promoting affairs. The latest trend as reported by Ashley Madison is for people to indicate what type of person they want to have an affair with (body type, ethnicity and age) along with what city they are traveling to. When the cheater gets to the city, ‘viola!’ there is the lover to meet them. Although there is a part of me that wants to call such a service gigolo to go, or traveling trollops, such terms have not caught on. When a cheater uses such services, they are definitely planning out the affair. In this case, it is a matter of ‘scripting’ an affair. No chance meetings, no happenstance, no accidental meetings are involved. They are ordering up an affair, much like they would order up a meal.
I am sure that such services are not limited to Hollywood types. Many high profile business or political types also have such services available to them. With such services the cheater no longer has to go looking for trouble, it is delivered to the door of their hotel room. For the cheater, the guilt is lessened, since their is little time for conscience to kick in. They view the delivery of the affair like maid service, only with a different kind of service.
So when your spouse takes off to that retreat or conference in some far away city, you may want to make sure that they are not using the traveling ‘affair to go’ service. They may claim that they did not have time for an affair or that they were too busy to do anything. The enterprising affair industry is seeing to it that they can still be taken care of.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
3 Responses
This makes me feel ill…..it was only several months ago that my husband revealed that in addition to his long time adulteress “prostitute’ he had had two other women from his company on the opposite coast that would bed him…..not at once …{ too crass???!!!] but one for a couple of years and then another for a couple of years….always set up before he landed for a business meeting !
He said he had told his loyal adulteress….and when I asked how she reacted …he could not remember ….just said she was probably upset! …..Convenient memory loss for a guy who has a mind like a vise!
Or is that VICE….
Anyway …if these people ONLY had any idea how deeply destructive this is to their SOUL ,….as well as their eternity…I am pretty sure they do not care about the wife or anyone else….both of the other women who worked in his company KNEW he was married with a family…..
Your know I KNOW we are suppose to forgive ….and to pray for those who despitefully use us and such ….but part of me would just like to see all who do these things have some kind of court of law here and now to answer to ….but it is too lucrative and so many seem to be active…even children these days that we would have very few left to run the planet!
I am angry ….and every day I fight me various feelings about this …I am for sure drawn to the Lord more and more in desparation to help me deal with this ongoing violation of my life and my children
My son has not been to visit since his dad started sleeping in another room …the guest room …There is a planned trip soon and my husband says he will not move into our bed …which will cause all our children shame and discomfort …not to mention the young lady my son is bringing ….I am mortified that this young woman will feel as if she is causing our family difficulty in providing a place for her to sleep.
My husband is truly without concern for anyone else and says he will not be pretending just for anyone else’s feelings….That they have to face the fact that he is unwilling to ‘fake’ loving his wife or being married any longer…..
He offered to go to a motel while they are here but that too would cause my son to be humiliated more and the young woman to feel she had caused someone to move out of their room!
My husband is so selfish ….he will not change anything …not even for our children’s sake
Can this be any kind of indication of sorrow or repentance? I think not.
His charm, humor and social skills mean little when he treats his adultery as if it is excuse to keep on living like a single man ..even if he is not having sex with anyone.
Today I thought of this example …it is like someone doing surgery and then when it is completed….just leaving the room and not sowing up the patient …and they just bleed out .
My husband may have stopped his sexual activity and even may have no more emotional interest in the OW …but I feel that his work and his efforts for the children of adultery have left nothing for us to do any work on our relationship. I feel that he takes the easy way out in terms of any relationships.
When the kids get old enough he said he will stop seeing them TOO!…Nice…so he is building up expectations with them …and growing a bond only to cease when he stops making child support payments…..I think they might be better off not to have known him and gotten too attached to him ,….
This is just doesn’t make sense…and HE has his degree in Psychology !
Zaza,
It is very aggravating seeing cheaters do what they do with seeming impunity and lack of conscience. The irony is that some of the cheaters who lay claim to success, culture and refinement behave at the level of animals when it comes to relationships. I felt revulsion well up in me as I read your account of what your husband does. I have felt it from previous letters, yet for some reason, it jumped out at me this morning. We were told that the love of many would wax cold, from what you describe, it sounds like it has, which saddens me. For your comments to stir up such emotions, I can only imagine the degree of them that you are experiencing. It is hard to forgive when there is little to no repentance. I recall when I had to confront a man who claimed to be have a close relationship with the Lord. When I told him point blank that Scripture tells us that his relationship was a sham, since his prayers to God were hindered by his on-going affairs and behavior. Prior to this he often blew counselor types away with his scripture quoting. Many cheaters do not realize the consequences of their actions, since they do not always seem them right away. When they have a background in either theology or psychology, they become very adept at making excuses and rationalizing what they have done. I continue lifting you up in my prayers.
Thank you Jeff for your comment and your prayers …few know about this so I do really appreciate it. I am trying not to live as a martyr either which I think sometimes I might be vulnerable to …I am thankful for so many things in my life and that I have been able to know the Lord too ..and learning to grow in all that is for me with the walk.
Today I tuned into the online showing of the Jubilee Christian Film Makers awards. ..Vision Forum has this for those who want to learn to make film from the Christian world view….it was uplifting and touching to see the progress this group has made since the beginning of it I think they said it was 2003….
Perhaps you can find it from going to Vision Forum to take a look …They offer many great movies for people who are sick and tired of the things Hollywood has to offer…
I hope your family will be blessed with what they offer too.
Thanks again for your timely posts and generosity toward the hurting and healing spouses…