One of the effects of an affair is that it leaves you questioning your marriage relationship. It leaves you unsure of where you stand and where the two of you are going.
So it made sense when a reader asked “Can a long term marriage be successful after infidelity?” In asking the question, they want assurance that the affair doesn’t mean their marriage is over.
But the answer to this question is not going to be a simple one. It’s all dependent on what working things through means for your marriage and how you decide to go about it.
I don’t know who started the myth that an affair means your marriage is over, but they’ve ruined many marriages. A marriage doesn’t end because of an affair. It ends when you decide it has.
The affair signals that changes are needed. Among those changes are the requirement that the two of you talk about the affair, what each of you need and re-evaluate what makes for a successful marriage.
A good, working definition of a successful marriage is one where the two of you can solve your problems together. If you can’t do that, then the marriage is over.
So what makes for a successful marriage? To get back to our working definition of success, one where you can solve your problems together.
The two of you have been able to come up with solutions and compromises when they’ve arisen in the past.
This includes finding a solution to the affair and the disruption it brought with it.
If your idea of a ‘successful marriage’ is one where uncomfortable topics are avoided, that sex fixes everything or all that matters is appearances, your ideal of a successful marriage is broken.
A successful marriage requires the two of you to put your relationship first.
It’s about loving and supporting each other even when it’s difficult. This is what makes for a successful marriage. It takes both people putting their needs aside, listening to each others point of view and being willing to work together.
Sex won’t fix an affair. Avoiding the uncomfortable discussions about the affair won’t improve your marriage. It appearances are all that matters, your marriage was in trouble before the affair.
At this point, you and your spouse have to be honest about what your ‘real’ idea of a successful marriage is. You’re at a point where what you’ve said and what’s been done are two different things.
Successful marriages are marriages with love, commitment, honesty and teamwork in helping each of you fulfill your potential. You may have talked a good game over the years. Now with the affair, you find out how committed each of you are to your marriage. Are your marriage vows worth keeping or are you prepared to throw them away?
One of you slipped and fell. Are you going to help each other at such weak times or give up on them when they let you down? They failed you. Are you going to fail them and your marriage as well?
You’ve got the potential for making things work, if you want it to work. You may need some help in knowing what to change and what changes will help the most.
This is where the Affair Recovery Workshop comes in. It guides you in making the necessary changes. It also lets you know where to make adjustments along with changing hidden patterns that contributed to the affair.
So, the answer to the question is yes, you can make a long term marriage successful. You can use the situation to make some long overdue changes to your marriage and open up your connection with each other in a way that hasn’t been there for many years.
I want to see your marriage survive. That’s why I’ve put together the best material on what it takes to turn your marriage around in the workshop.
Broken marriages only benefit lawyers, bar owners and disgruntled spouses looking for an exit.
Have you been cheated on?
You’ve probably heard of the “Affair Recovery Workshop.” It’s a step-by-step guide for recovering from an affair. It covers communication issues, taking care of yourself, how to bypass your spouses defense mechanisms, improving intimacy and breaking patterns of affair behavior in your background. The steps are sequential and are designed for improving your marriage relationship as you work through them. It includes videos and MP3 recordings along with outlines covering the material. You’ll want to listen to them again and again as you work through these challenges.
I know that it’s hard when someone cheats on you – but I also know that there is hope! This workshop will help you get back on track with your marriage by addressing all aspects of what happened including communication problems, taking care of yourself, how to bypass their defenses, improve intimacy and break patterns of affair behavior in your background so that this never happens again! And best yet – it comes with video tutorials so if something doesn’t make sense or needs more explanation then just watch the video tutorial as many times as you need to.
Click here now to purchase our Affair Recovery Workshop today!
You can do things differently.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
