Although I hear the question “How do I cope?” frequently, I’ve learned some things about the question. As a hurting spouse, it’s an easy question to ask.
Although you ask about coping, it’s likely that you’re looking for something else. It’s just easier saying ‘coping’.
Coping is about you making accommodations to what’s going on. Are you really searching for ways of accommodating your spouse cheating?
Coping amounts to settling for leftovers. You find ways of putting up with what’s going on rather than challenging what’s happening.
Accommodating is very different than healing or recovery. Healing and recovery require changes in your marriage relationship. Changes in how you talk to each other, treat each other and solve problems.
Healing also includes helping the wounds to heal in a healthy manner rather than ignoring them or just hoping they improve.
It’s easier saying that you’re looking for ways of putting up with the affair, when your heart wants to put it behind you. I understand that you’d rather it hadn’t happened at all.
It happened, and now you face choices about what you’re willing to do in dealing with it. Your marriage needs more than a quick fix band aid. Putting the quick fix band aid on an affair wound isn’t enough.
This means you need more than quick answers and short how-to books dealing with affairs. Asking how to cope puts you in a position where you’re settling for finding a peaceful way of putting up with the situation. If that’s what you tell your mind, that’s what you’ll find.
Now’s the time to look for healing, not just coping. Coping doesn’t deal with the wounds. Coping doesn’t make your marriage relationship better. Coping is just putting up with.
When you’re ready for healing, the Affair Recovery Workshop provides intensive answers and direction. It doesn’t just give you an emotional band-aid. In the multi-session workshop, you’ll find new ways of starting communication, renewing intimacy, ways of getting your spouse’s attention and ways of changing unhealthy patterns in your marriage.
When you cope, you really haven’t resolved the issues or changed the direction things are going. Your marriage needs a turnaround. Find it in the Affair Recovery Workshop. Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
