When in crisis couples or single spouses often ask the question, “Is there hope for my marriage?”. They are often desperate and seeking answers. The also want answers in the form of ‘yes’ or ‘no’. It grieves me that they often have to be shattered before they get honest with themselves and their spouses about their marriage.
Answering their question with the question “How much hope do you want?” may seem odd, yet it is the kind of response they need. The hurting person often wants a quick fix, easy to digest answer. By that time, there are no quick fixes. There are only hard choices. It occurred to me last night that “How much hope do you want?” is a critical question.
There are several resources available depending on how much hope you want.
There is the e-book on surviving your partners affair, which will answer the question “What do I need to do?”
If you want more explanations of the reasons for doing those things, there is my webinar entitled “sure Fire Ways to Restore Your Marriage After an Affair” (actually a series of recordings where I deal with the “What do I need to do?” along with the why you need to do it that way).
If you want answers to the “Why” questions and are not sure if you want to work things out or not, there is my e-book, “Why wasn’t I enough?”
If you want information on how to deal with the children, there is an e-book dealing with that topic as well.
There is also my newsletter dealing with affair related issues that you can sign up for.
So the question boils down to “How much hope do you want?”. In some cases, you may just want to ease your pain for the day. That may be all that you can handle right now. If that is all that you can handle, do not fool yourself into thinking that you are doing everything that you can. You may not be ready for more, but that does not mean that you have exhausted every resource you can. In other cases, you may seriously want to pull out all the stops and do everything you can to work on your marriage.
These resources are focused on getting you to deal with the affair and move forward in your relationship. They are not going to explain all they why’s behind the affair. Although you want to know all the why’s those are not the answers that are going to improve things. Understanding everything that went wrong is not going to move you ahead. You need direction, you need focus. These resources will provide that, depending on how much hope that you want.
What I do know is that when you do nothing, you will get nothing. When you give up hope, there is none. When you do not take action, there will be no hope.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
