Although the mind of the infidel often excuses the affair with such phrases as “I deserve to be happy!”, “It makes me happy!”, “He/She makes me _______ (laugh, feel young again, horny, etc.)”. When in the midst of the affair, the infidel does not consider that infidelity hurts those around them. It destroys trust. It destroys reputations. It destroys the spirit of the marriage. What makes infidelity even worse is that the hurt goes on for generations. Although the infidel does not see how people can still be bothered by their actions, the adultery leaves a stain that tarnishes the family reputation and the persons reputation. Long after the passion associated with the affair is gone, the shame and guilt surrounding the events remain casting their shadow across the family.
The children learn that they can not trust the parent involved in the affair. Even years later there is a hesitancy about trusting the infidel parent.
The children often have to live with the shame created by the parent for years. Being known as the “son of that whore down the street” or “the whore’s daughter” are painful labels for anyone to have to face. They carry that shame to school, little league and any other social outlet. The shame also impacts the parents who often feel like they have failed when their child engages in an affair.
The pain of infidelity is often accompanied by rage. Murder, assault, battery and suicide are often connected with affairs. Not everyone who has an affair nor their families are doomed to engage in such acts, yet the odds of those events occuring are higher in families with affairs than in families without affairs.
Although there are excuses used to justify affairs, in the years after an affair, people often do not recall the excuses, but rather the pain of what occurred. Every time holidays or special days such as mother’s day comes around, the families are reminded of the hurt and the choices that were made.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
