Forgiveness is used for both good and bad purposes. Withholding forgiveness can be used for both good and bad purposes as well.
Although things go smoother with forgiveness, there are some people who for whatever reason wait until the last minute before they take action on the matter. They wait until it’s almost too late.
They withhold forgiveness to achieve maximum hurt. They also know they’ve done wrong and wait until the offended or betrayed party is near death.
One female member of my family waited until her husband was on his death bed before she went in to him asking his forgiveness.
Perhaps she had her reasons for waiting until that moment. Much like a deathbed confession, she revealed things to him followed by a plea for forgiveness.
Such death bed confessions are manipulative. When you intentionally wait until the person is dying, such admissions put the betrayed ‘on the spot’. It’s one thing if there are sudden accidents or changes in health. In those cases, it’s good for the soul to clear the air.
When you intentionally put off dealing with forgiveness until the person you’ve wronged is on their death bed, it’s manipulative. It using guilt and the forces of nature against the person.
Although I talk about what is the best time for forgiveness in the video on the topic, delaying forgiveness until one party is at death’s door is NOT the best time. It’s definitely in the top 10 for one of the worst times to deal with forgiveness.
Intentionally waiting to deal with forgiveness until death drops an emotional hand grenade on them when they’re totally defenseless and have little time to process anything.
Putting off forgiving also has its problems. It only prolongs the lies and deceit longer. It amounts to you wanting to live another day with the lies and betrayals.
If you want to know what to do along with when to do it, the video, “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks” guides you through this part of healing. You can work through forgiveness without manipulations and subterfuge. You can get back to honest day to day living without waiting until someone is on their deathbed.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
