Some affairs are the product of love addictions rather than poor decision making, immoral values, sexual addition, poor impulse control or other factors often found underlying affairs. In the case of love addiction-based affairs, the spouse afflicted is seeking stimulation. The need for “love stimulation” becomes the priority. The need for stimulation often over rides their marriage commitment or even family & friends. Those living with a love addict know that the addicts stimulation often means that they are neglected, physically, emotionally or in some other manner. The love addict often overlooks dangerous or unacceptable behaviors from their lover, just in order to stay ‘in the relationship’. This drive to stay in a relationship means that they will do anything to hang onto it. The hanging on means that they can not leave the relationship. Those afflicted with such addictions often stalk, control or manipulate others. There is often excessive calling or texting. Their lovers may complain of feeling smothered. These individuals often also maintain compulsive contact with former partners or those they previously dated. They are often oblivious to consequences of their choices.
Love addictions, like other addictions is also life threatening and needs to be taken seriously. People may joke about ‘love addictions’ yet those afflicted know that the pain and the desperation are very real and very painful.
If you suspect your spouse has a love addiction, seek professional help. The behavior will not go away on its own. The behavior patters are ingrained and need attention from people who have experience in dealing with such situations.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
