There are times when my wife and I scratch our heads in puzzlement at our shopping list compiled by Alexa. Although we tell her what to add to the list, there are times when there are items on it that we don’t recognize.
She puts down what she thinks she hears. Some items are so unrecognizable, we are scratching our heads wondering what it was supposed to be. It’s as if she comes up with products and names for things that don’t exist.
At moments like that I no longer fear Alexa being an extension of Orwell’s Big Brother. When she can’t hear things clearly or in a clearly identifiable manner, I have nothing to worry about.
We are entertained by the ever growing list of Alexa stories. There are times she’s so far off, it’s ridiculous.
In the midst of my adventures with Alexa, it’s clear that she doesn’t hear things that I intended. In some ways, she’s has some similarities with some spouses when it comes time for working through conflicts.
When you and your spouse aren’t able to work through conflicts, then when it comes time for working through the conflicts related to the affair, it’s going to be an uphill struggle.
The simple lesson I learned from Alexa is ‘It doesn’t matter you say, it matters what they hear.” She puts things on the list that she hears or thinks she hears.
I may have worded things correctly and pronounced it correctly. All the correct diction and wording doesn’t matter. She puts down what she hears.
This means that one of the most valuable questions you can ask of your spouse at such times is the one where you ask them to clarify “Did I hear you say ….?”
That question will help you make sure that your ears heard what they said. It also sends the message that you are listening to them and that what they have to say matters to you.
When you take off and take action based on what you thought you heard rather than what’s said, it leads to high drama conflict. Some good communication habits go a long way in reducing the frequency and intensity of such episodes.
Where are you going to learn ways of making sure what you said is what is heard by your spouse? You can use the trial and error method of doing it, OR you can order the video, “Let’s Talk: Hurting People and Healing Questions”.
The video contains other skills and questions that improve how well the two of you connect and solve problems together. Assuming they ‘know’ what you’re saying and understand it like you do is misleading.
Rather than opening the door to further misdirection, you can instead have clarity in your communication.
Order your copy today and start improving your relationship.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
