Although I do not endorse his theology, and worldview, the British writer Douglas Adams did understand something about human nature. When he began using the slogan, “Don’t Panic!” , he hit upon the answer to many issues. For those of you who are struggling with your spouse’s affair, the first thing to tell yourself is “Don’t Panic!” The fear that panic brings will limit your ability to see options and lead to into some bad decisions. I understand that in the initial days after finding out about the affair is to take the incident personally. When you take things personally, your first reaction is to strike back in a personal way. You want to hurt them the way they hurt you. If you give into that urge, you may likely succeed in hurting them. Hurting them may make you feel better, but it is not going to make them want to return to you.
Panic also brings a sense of desperation. Choices made out of desperation are never good ones.
Panic brings pain. The last thing you need is more pain. The more you panic, the more pain you will experience.
The origin of Panic is interesting as well. The term comes from the Greek god Pan, who had a habit of running through the countryside screaming. His screams terrified all those around him. His screams amounted to nothing more than his entertainment, yet those who were terrified of it suffered. If this scenario sounds familiar, you may be giving into panic.
Rather than you giving in to panic, along with the pain, torment, fear and uncertainty it brings, …STOP! Stop, take a breath and begin taking one day at a time. Consider only the question, “What do I need to do today?’
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
