Is he or she talking to their lover again? This is a haunting question. It’s also a question that nags at you day and night.
Although things are supposedly over, odd little moments and comments leave you wondering. They say “it’s done“, yet it doesn’t feel that way.
It’s like your spouse emotionally moved out and hasn’t moved back in again. They’re still distant at times and have those times where you wonder what they’re up to.
They may be sitting at the table with you, yet they have that thousand yard stare that let’s you know they are somewhere else.
They expect you to believe everything is over just because they said it was. Anytime you question them about it, they bring up your insecurities or lack of faith in them.
If your spouse has shut down conversations about the affair with the claim of it being over, or keep you in the dark about what’s going on inside them, you may need help.
When the affair is over, one of the things needed is an Affair Relapse Prevention Plan. It doesn’t have to be complicated, but the two of you need it.
When there’s a clear plan, it lets your spouse know what’s expected of them and it gives you peace of mind. It also gives you something for your mind to hold onto.
Trusting in the unknown is asking for the impossible. Instead of just trusting them again, with a clear plan, you know what to look for along with ways of dealing with it.
It’ll take a while before trust is back to where it was at one point. Until then, working together on the plan is a good way of rebuilding some of the lost trust.
The cheater may keep things to themselves, but in doing so, it creates industrial sized anxieties for you. When they have a plan and discuss it with you, it gives you a way of helping them through the changes in their life and yours as well.
In the video “Overcoming Affair Relapse”, I go over what you need in a good relapse plan along with the topic of triggers and high risk situations to be aware of. The cheater may be setting themselves up for a problem and not even realize it.
Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
