Although you may think that con games (as in confidence games) are a relic of old movies and old novels, you would be mistaken. Con-games are alive and well today, especially sexual con games. They involve both men and women. One of the classic con games is the woman who comes onto an unsuspecting male victim, lures him to her home, claiming that the husband is away. The victim goes along, and is put into a compromising situation. The husband then arrives unexpectedly, threatens the victim with either violence or exposure.
The victim is then forced to pay out hush money to keep the affair or compromising situation under wraps. This con has several variations, some using video, photos, or recordings rather than the husband arriving, but the main ploy remains the same. They threaten exposure if they are not paid.
The victim is often a wealthy person with a reputation for being moral. The confidence gamers, put them in a compromising situation which they use as leverage to force them into paying out money or trapping them into other activities, such as sexual grooming or exploitation.
The con game works based on the victim assuming that they are too smart to get caught, and “What they do not know won’t hurt them” type of attitude. The confidence gamers use that attitude against the victim. Although the victim was not out to intentionally hurt their spouse or have an affair, they just wanted to get away with sneaky behaviors. The arrogance that they are ‘too smart’ is used against them.
When this happens to you, it is a tough situation. You are likely mad at the cheater and the confidence gamers both. It is true that the cheater was a victim, although their own attitude and ‘little compromises’ allowed the situation to be set up. When you are in this situation, you will need to remove the confidence gamer threat first, before you deal with the cheater. Dealing with the cheater first, may allow them to set up another more elaborate con. If your spouse has a high profile position, you are at higher risk for such cons. Intelligence community types also use cons like this to gain leverage over their targets. They often make things look worse than they are so as to trigger your fears. When they have fear on their side, the confidence people then use that fear to manipulate the situation to their advantage. In some cases, the con lasts for years.
If the blackmail story sounds too smooth, it probably is a con. Real life is often sloppy and haphazard.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
