The other day, I wrote to you about Medusa. Medusa triggered a fascination that brought me back to her again. She has a strange attractive drawing power.
Perhaps when the Greek poets talked about people turning to stone, they actually meant that they stopped and were mentally paralyzed for a moment. The same kind of thing happens with affairs.
I know it’s not just me that feels such fascination. In fact, one of the cruise ships of the Norwegian Cruise Lines has a ‘Medusa Lounge’ designed specifically for bringing people back to it again and again. When a cruise ship incorporates the idea, there must be something to it.
A story told by a popular public speaker is that early on in her career as a public speaker she was warned about Medusa. She was firmly instructed nnever ever mentioning ‘affairs’ when talking with women because of ‘The Medusa effect’.
She was told in no uncertain terms that the topic was off limits and was branded ‘a Medusa’. The reason for that label is that upon bringing it up, it’ll turn your audience to stone as they become mentally paralyzed.
There is an odd connection between affairs and medusa in terms of how each leave you in a state of mental paralysis. Just bringing up the topic rattles people for various reasons.
One reason is that on mentioning affairs, you think about either your affairs or affairs that impacted you. This is part of your own self-centered frame of reference. You process information based on how it impacts ourselves. We immediately consider when that happened or nearly happened to yourself or your world. The fancy term is your ‘social atom’.
Affairs have a way of freeze framing your marital relationship. When affairs happen, the distance between you and your spouse sets like epoxy glue. Not only are you emotionally paralyzed, the distance in your marriage relationship is paralyzed as well. It stops any growth or closeness. Whatever distance exists now solidifies and begins petrifying.
That whole idea of freezing and petrifying is a common theme with Medusa. Those wanting a relationship with her were paralyzed. One person lusted after her and as part of her punishment, any future suitors were turned to stone.
The emotional space between any suitor and Medusa was forever frozen in time, never getting any closer than that moment. Perhaps this was part of Athena’s punishment of her. No one would ever get close to her again.
Perhaps one of the parallel lessons that Greek poets wanted to pass on is that affairs have consequences. One of them is that of relationship paralysis. Wanting a relationship with the wrong person brings paralysis.
If your marriage is stuck and immobile, there’s a reason. If you are unable to grow as close as the two of you once did, there’s a reason. If one of you is in the affair fog, which is a type of relational paralysis, there’s a reason. A Medusa has paralyzed one of you.
That’s where my video product, “How to rekindle closeness and bring back intimacy” comes in. It shows you ways of overcoming barriers to closeness. That distance between the two of you can be reduced or eliminated. This is the antidote to the Medusa Effect of affairs.
Best Regards,
Jeff
