A common question that arises in dealing with affairs is “How much should I tell him about my affair?” Although spouses often want to know ALL the details of what happened, when, etc., such details often become counter-productive. When there are too many details, it often makes it more difficult to forgive them. Many spouses can forgive affairs much easier when they do not have all the details. It is important to be honest with them. You do not want to lie to them or mislead them. At the same time, you may need to answer questions in general terms. They may need to know that you had an affair and who it was with. They do not need to know where it happened, how many times it happened, what you wore, etc. Such items only create stronger images in their mind that is harder for them to let go of. It creates a fantasy they can not seem to leave behind.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey D. Murrah
