With every benefit, there are also dangers. Take the ‘little blue pill’ for instance. Although some couples have benefited from it, the same pill has destroyed many others.You may have been one of those who benefited from the pill. Bear in mind that the mind is the largest sex organ in the body, and it has the greatest influence on performance or lack of than other areas. Prior to the discovery of the little blue pill in the mid 1990’s, when a cheater felt conflicted about an affair, they were often unable to carry out their passionate desires. With the accidental discovery of the pill, many men can now engage in practices that in previous generations, their mind and psychosomatic factors would not have allowed.
This phenomena is similar to that which occurred with birth control. Affairs were seen as ‘high’ risk behavior, for risk a of pregnancy. Once birth control was available, the constraints of ‘unwanted pregnancy’ were removed. Cheaters were allowed to indulge at will with no fear of repercussions. The only thing restraining them was their own minds and bodies. Now with the blue pill, that constraint is no longer an issue.
Another danger is that of the ‘little blue pill’ mentality. You may find yourself continually looking for answers to your problems with better pharmaceutical tools rather than work on the issues of intimacy and relationship in your marriage. You falsely assumed that it was all just ‘problems in the bedroom’.
You wanted a quick fix. You wanted something that would suddenly ‘jolt’ your relationship back into working shape. It is as if you assume that a good sex life will fix all your intimacy issues. You assume good sex=good intimacy. Although the performance is there, the closeness is lacking. You continue struggling with a search for what is missing. Part of that search often leads to your spouse having affairs as part of the search for a ‘spark’ that will reignite the fire. What cheaters do not realize is that it the ‘spark’ provided by the affair will actually begin a flash fire that will devastate the spirit of your marriage.
Although you want ‘fast results’ in the bed room, you are not willing to do the work to have fast results in the relationship building portion of their marriage. Counseling and doing relationship work requires effort. The ‘blue pill’ mentality creates the expectation that problems can be fixed easily with no pain and no effort. The reality is that improving your relationship requires effort. You will have to take risks, expose your vulnerabilities, confront your fears and develop patience over the course of improving your marriage.
Learning how to open up with your spouse can not be accomplished with a pill.
Learning how to confront and listen to each other can not be accomplished with a pill.
Learning how to have ‘real’ intimacy can not be accomplished with a pill.
Rather than assuming things can be fixed fast with the blue pill mentality, you can take action to improve your marriage by applying the principles in the e-book, “Surviving Your Partners Affair”, which lays out the sequence of steps including forgiveness, communication, intimacy and changing relationship dynamics. It is not the quick fix of the blue pill,since it requires effort, but it will transform your marriage relationship, providing you with intimacy, understanding and changed relationship.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
