When you discover that your spouse is cheating, you suddenly realize that your marriage is threatened. The potential danger to your family, your reputation, and your security hits you like a ton of bricks. This is akin to recognizing that the ship is sinking when you are up to your knees in water and the boat is going down.
The time to have easily saved your marriage was long before now. Taking action at this point requires serious effort. It is going to require going out of your comfort zone. You are going to be stretched as never before. The time for quick fixes is over.
It is as this juncture that the respectable thing to say is “I’ll do anything to save my marriage!” In making such a statement you may have good intentions. A few of you may actually mean it when you say that. Statements like that is what people expect you to say.
The reality is that few people will actually go that far. The most common reality is that you will do many things, as long as they do not embarrass you, cost you too much time, or cost you much financially. Yes, there is a price tag that people put on their marriage. It is both a financial and effort price tag. The “I’ll do anything!” adds drama to the situation, but does little to actually take action and change yourself or your relationships. It is respectable, but does little to actually bring changes.
Instead of talk, you need to change things.
-Change the way you talk to each other
-Change the way you solve problems
-Change the way to treat each other
-Change the way you look at each other
-Change the way you think about your marriage
-Change your goals
These are just some of the changes that are needed. Keeping the way it has always been, and doing what you have always done is a sure way to recreate the same old problems all over again. Rather than re-create the same problem, in the same place but at a different time, take action.
Transform your marriage with the e-book, “Surviving Your Partners Affair”. Your marriage is worth a lot more than the cost of the book, the effort it will take to make the changes, or the awkwardness of doing something new and different. Rather than doing the respectable thing of making loud claims of how much you will do to save your marriage and then continue repeating the same old mistakes, do something different.
Another close cousin to “I’ld do anything to save my marriage!” is its cousin, “We’ve tried everything to save our marriage!” The truth is they either have not or they only put forth a half-hearted effort at doing so. They were inconsistent in doing what they needed to do, and now they have a ‘respectable’ excuse to bail on their marriage.
Rather than make the mistakes of doing the respectable thing, take steps to transform your marriage and consistently follow through.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
