Do men have a harder time forgiving cheating than women?

The question was directed at me asking whether men have a harder time forgiving cheating than women do.

I have not seen any data on whether it harder for men for forgive than women. I know women, in general tend to exercise more understanding than men do. Women understand the interconnectedness of relationships. Men often do not understand the interconnectedness of relationships. Their lack of understanding in this area may be one of the reasons for the difficulty forgiving.

Another reason men have trouble with forgiveness is their pride in the form of misguided manliness. What I mean by that is that some men have a portion of their manhood wrapped up in keeping their woman loyal to them. So when their wife has an affair (even a virtual one) they take it as an attack on their manhood. These are just guesses.

I know that in the Bible (Proverbs 6:34-36), there is a passage addressing the rage and jealousy of a man in response to adultery, and how difficult it is to appease. I am still trying to understand all the applications associated with the passage. What it does tell me is that the difficulties with a man forgiving is not limited to modern times. There is something in the wiring of men that has made it an issue for centuries. The clues provided by the passage indicates that jealousy and desire for revenge are factors for the man in reacting to adultery. This jealousy and desire for revenge would definitely make it a challenge to forgive. It is hard to forgive when you are seeking pay back and revenge.

I do not have the statistics on whether or not it is harder for men to forgive. We do know that men struggle with jealousy and the desire for revenge. I also know that they tend to take cheating as a personal attack. With the general trend being toward more social isolation, the intensity of these phenomena will increase since the emotions are often amplified by the social isolation.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah