When you look at your wedding ring, what do you see? To the cheater, it is nothing more than a ‘ring’, a piece of metal which was given on your marriage. If they are really hard core, they may joke about how it is attached to a ball and chain. The cheater often only views objects in the physical world. The emotional and spiritual attachments are often downplayed if not ignored. When they begin joking about their wedding ring, it could be an early warning that attitudes are changing. The ring is more than metal, it is a commitment, it is a promise, it is the symbol of a special bonded relationship. Cheaters do not see that, much like the proverbial not seeing the forest for the trees, they do not see or want to see what the marriage vow is really about.
The cheater often lives in the sensual, physical world with little awareness of other dimensions. Part of the healing in your marriage will also need to include the cheater getting a vision test on “What do you see?”
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
2 Responses
Sadly…I should have taken more heed to this ‘deeper’ meaning when my husband told me he ‘did not wear jewelry because in his sport men did not wear rings lest they lose a finger’
I wonder now as I see many of those who play this sport professionally that they put their ring on after the game.
Also there was no longer any reason for this after he retired from that sport.
He then told me he did not like to wear rings.
Eventually it came out that he did not like the ring I had had custom made for him.
The BOTTOM line is …my husband did not want to endure being seen as a married man .
Whether he will admit this or not it actually was to his ‘benefit’ to appear to be unmarried in this very basic pose.
I see if someone cannot ‘endure’ the change of IDENTITY when they come to Christ …then they are going to be pretty much unable to make the identity changes necessary from single to married man.
At least that is what seems to have unfolded .
Zaza,
As you have learned, the attitude toward the ring is a reflection of their attitude toward the marriage. Notice how often they take if off their finger, whether they cherish it, or treat it like nothing special. Such behaviors often provide early indications of problems as you saw. When it is important, they will find a way to wear it.