It is dangerous to assume that because your spouse cheats that something is wrong with you. Yes, they may tell you that over and over, but that does not make it true. There are many times you want to believe what they are telling you. When they blame you, it is not the time time to believe them. Even in events where you have a debilitating condition, they, as the cheater made the choice to stray from your marriage. Marriage vows still contain the phrase “..for better or worse” even though many couples want to forget that portion. The cheater may be choosing to bail in total violation of their vows to you.
It is not unusual for cheaters to play head games. Telling you that there is something wrong with you or that you made them cheat are some examples of head games. It is also not unusual for your self esteem to hit rock bottom on finding out about an affair. Trying to take your self esteem below rock bottom is not needed. Burying it below sea level is not helping you or improving the marriage. Much like the old television series Outer Limits that started off with the phrase “There is nothing wrong with your set…” In such situations, there is nothing wrong with you. I address how to overcome this in the first chapter of my e-book on surviving your partners affair. The time for blaming will come later.
(Note: I intentionally spelled wrong as wrogn as an attention grabber and to visually illustrate the point).
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
