Back in the 60’s there was talk about love and peace being all around you. Now in 2012, the message is HATE. When you are surrounded by messages of hate, when it comes time to address your spouse’s affair, one of the first things that will come to mind is ‘hate’. Since you are surrounded by hate from television, the internet, and advertising, you may fall prey to hating your spouse. If all that hate has really soaked in, you may end up hating all men or all women based on what happened.
Hate is a strong motivator. Hate is used to motivate the voters, and manipulate the consumers. When you are surrounded with so much hate, you have to wonder where it will lead. At the least it will make you bitter and cranky. I was reminded of this when a friend of mine working a recent concert saw one of those old performers who used to talk about love is now nothing but a bitter old crank these days.
When you swim in an ocean of hate, it will poison how you see the world, and your spouse. At the moment that they need your love, they may instead receive your hate. It is not just a hate of what they did, but a hatred of them. Hating what they did is healthy, hating them is destructive. It is hard to separate the act from the person when you are surrounded by so much hate.
It is also no surprise that many people are having trouble getting alone when the main message they hear from all the media is ‘HATE’. Then there is the mindset that is currently in vogue that when you disagree with someone you are called a ‘hater’. The overuse of hatred to address disagreement only serves to spread hate further and confuse matters. It is not hate to disagree. It does not make you a hater because you do not view the affair the same as the cheater.
In order to neutralize all this hate, you will have to reject misuse of the term hate and hater. You will also have to learn to separate the act from the person. You will have to forgive the person, but not the act. You will have to confront hate and reject it when you encounter it.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
