When a young child turns to their parent and with tear filled eyes asks “Why did mommy leave us?” it leaves parents stunned. Although affairs hurt the spouses, the damage it inflicts on families and children often last longer than many parents can imagine. Being abandoned by a parent leaves scars. It hurts even worse in that the child trusts the parent. They often depend on that parent for protection, love, encouragement and nurturing. One of the people they fully trust now shows that they are not trust-worthy. The parent betrays the trust of the child, along with the trust of the spouse. Although the child may forgive the parent, the pain of betrayal often lingers, making it difficult to trust others in the future. The child may also build a wall around their heart surrounded by barbed wire in order to keep out those who could hurt them.
Betrayal by family members often hurts deeper and lasts longer than other betrayals. It hurts worse in that these are people who know you. These are people you depend upon. These are the people you look to for direction. Instead of providing direction, they provide disappointment and betrayal. Rather than just stumbling through such crises, consider “The Affair Recovery System” or other resources to help the family through the situation rather than counting on the hurt bandaging the wounds and tending the scars of the other wounded.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
Best Regards
