Have you considered what is motivating you? What makes you want to work on your marriage? When your motivation is fear, it is likely that you will find yourself reacting, and feeling desperate. Fear brings torment. When your actions are driven by fears, you will find yourself writhing in emotional pain. It may be fear of your spouse leaving, fear of what you will do without them, or fear that you may loose everything. Each of them bring their own form of torment.
When you are fighting for your marriage out of love, things will be different. Your spouse will sense that difference. When motivated by love, you will see your situation from many different perspectives. Bear in mind that being motivated by love does not mean turning a blind eye to everything that they do, or make excuses for them. It does mean that you work with them in overcoming what they are struggling with. It means that you care about their reputation as much as your own. It means that you care about their character as a spouse and as a parent.
It could be that your spouse keeps their distance based on seeing what your true motives are.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
