The first item in escaping the secrecy is safety. If your life is at risk, that needs to be your first concern. It may sound alarmist to address such an issue regarding affairs. When you see the number of homicides that are related to affairs, you soon realize that it is not alarmist. You and your spouse may not be making rational decisions during the chaos of the affair. If your life is in danger, wait until you can escape safely.
In some communities, you may find battered women shelters. If you are the husband, you may want to locate friends or family members where you can stay on your escape. Bear in mind, that once awareness of the affair is out in the open, it may not be the cheater that is after you, it could be the lover, or their family.
Escaping the secrecy may mean escaping with your life, it may also mean, exposing your family to fallout from the affair. Here, once again, the main priority is safety. Use caution if exposing the affair may put you, your children or your spouse in danger. In such cases, safety and the preservation of human life often trumps convenience, embarrassment, or ridicule. If your spouse has an explosive temper, you may want to hide or impede access to weapons prior to exposing the affair. Even delaying their access to such items can give them time to think and regain some sanity. In the heat of the moment, they do not often think straight. You may have to think ahead of exposure since once things are ‘out’ it may take a while before things settle down.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
