When you are struggling with overcoming an affair, your memory often works like a two-edged sword. Things that you remember can help you forgive at times and at other times, what you recall keeps you from ever letting go of what happened. Our memories, like many of our abilities were designed to help us get the most out of life and to enjoy it. When you misapply or use your memory to unpleasant things, that same tool turns into a torture device that keeps you tormented through the night.
You may have even joked about how you wanted to have your memory erased. Alcohol and pills are often the drugs of choice in chemically erasing memory. The problem is that they often muddle the memory rather than remove it. Like an old, dirty eraser, they do more smearing than erasing of events.
Much like you have to learn new ways of living with your spouse, you will also have to develop new ways of living with your memory. If you have a keen memory, you will have to be careful what you focus on. In such cases, knowing details about the affair will bring more torment than relief. The constant rewinding and playing back of what happened or what you imagined happened is torment. If your memory is haphazard or limited, then knowing the details of the affair may be no big deal to overcome.
Whatever kind of memory you have, you will have to learn ways of living with it so that you can enjoy life rather than regret what has happened for the rest of your life.
I address more about recovering from an affair in my e-book on picking up the pieces.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
