As outrageous as it seems, there are some of you who may consider sleeping around acceptable if you have your spouse’s permission. Why a spouse would give permission for such actions is astounding, and filled with it’s own Pandora’s box of problems. You may wonder if it is still infidelity when permission is given. Some of you may consider this an absurd question, yet it happens more than you may realize. Spouses often give their permission for an affair to occur. At times this permission is intentional and at other times unintentional.
Whether intentional or unintentional, when the cheater hears anything that can be construed to be close to permission to sleep around, they often ‘go to the races’. All they need is the belief that they have been given permission to have an affair and then they can indulge and dismiss any guilt since they were ‘allowed’ to have an affair. When you make snide or catty remarks like “why don’t you just go find some sleazebag” in a fit of anger, the cheater does not hear the anger, instead they hear that you gave them permission to indulge. They miss that you were frustrated and that your statement was one of anger and frustration. To them…you gave permission.
Another unintentional permission is if you have admitted to your spouse that you have entertained thoughts of sleeping with someone else yourself. Those innocuous questions your spouse asks about your fantasies may have a hidden agenda of obtaining the go ahead for an affair. When such questions arise, you need to handle them with caution. Yes, this is your spouse, and you should feel honest and open with them, yet when your spouse has ‘cheating’ on their mind, they may find ways of twisting and distorting what you said into an approval for them to indulge/stray/sleep around/etc.
Whether it was intentional or not, sleeping with people other than your spouse is infidelity. It is a violation of the promises you made to them, before God and the witnesses at your wedding. When permission is given, it does not mean that the person giving the permission had the authority to approve such actions, which violate the boundaries of marriage. Your marriage is a sacred trust. Violations of that trust are being unfaithful. Does this mean that is it still infidelity if you have your spouse’s permission? Yes, it does mean that the cheater is being unfaithful to their vows. If your spouse gave you permission to steal, taking what does not belong to you remains theft even though they gave you permission to do it. Trying to excuse your actions by saying “They told me I could” will not make the action of theft into an acceptable one. You can call it creative purchasing or some other cutesy title, it is still theft. Infidelity is infidelity, whether you call it an alternative lifestyle, or alternative living or some other creative label, it is still infidelity.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
6 Responses
In my thinking …..The truth is what GOD has set in place….no matter HOW MANY may be in agreement that something is ‘ok’ …..
Just because someone CAN doesn’t mean the SHOULD
God is the final arbiter on the definition of what is “GOOD” because as JESUS said ….
Mat 19:17 And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good?
[there is] NONE GOOD BUT ONE [that is], GOD: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.
The author of the Hegelian Dialectic is not Hegal but the ENEMY of the CREATION …
Our Father …which art in HEAVEN ….as Jesus taught us to view GOD …HOLY be thy NAME
Thy kingdom COME …THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH .
As it is in HEAVEN
HOW ???
By way of people finding out the revealed will which is revealed to us IN the record of HIS words ….
God Breathed …Holy men OF GOD …called upon to obediently write what GOD inspired …aka breathed into their thinking …
HIS will will get done with or without OUR cooperation …it is OUR jurisdiction to seek and then apply the Word / will of GOD ..To do so without compromise not because it ‘buys’ our way into heaven but because it is WISDOM
SO …how many people who ‘decide ‘ to do SIN are wise counselors???
God’s word provides us with wise counsel even when we have NO ONE who agrees with it
In the length of time all wisdom will be confirmed as the BEST way to have few regrets.
Living to be people pleasers or flesh pleasers is a dead end endeavor …take it from those who by God’s grace have found at that God DOES INDEED KNOW BEST.
No matter how few agree….maybe that is one reason the narrow way is so narrow…few have beaten the path clear since it apparently started with only ONE man’s journey following His Father….
But HE has informed us that the broad way leads to destruction and there is a LOT of company on that way
The narrow way is somewhat lonelier in terms of present fellow travelers for a reason …The flesh likes a lot of company so that it feels like it is ‘allowed’ ….the devil loves that he has convinced people that heaven is a democracy!
Zaza,
Human nature is such that some people think that if they have enough like minded persons in agreement about what is right that it somehow trumps God’s design plans. They have found some ways to rewire parts of the conscience, and attempt justifying infidelity by twisting things around. Deep down they still know it is not right, hence the need for ‘permission’.
Yes….one of the ways ‘cirriculums’ of sinful behaviors being brought to younger and younger people at times when they have not developed fully in terms of identity….
I was watching a movie which apparently a lot of people think is “Family’ friendly….WE had watched in a long time ago ….at a point when it became clear that it was a ‘feed’ of various agendized encouragement , especially to youth …for ‘normalizing ‘ various sinful perspectives we stopped watching it . The movie of the concert gave me a chance to view the extent of impact it had had over the time from the very beginning to when the movie of the concert tour was made
During the movie they positioned a young girl BORN to be a ‘dwarf’ as she expressed it …and her story which was sandwiched over the length of the movie with another person ..a young man who was 19 whose story being put forth as just as ‘valid’ and ‘acceptable’ as the condition that the ‘little person ‘ was in was his ‘coming out ” in eighth grade.
This kind of presentation of someone BORN in a condition was being deliberately compared to what GOD has made a very distinct commandment about because it was a CHOICE ….
Choices are based upon not just what we FEEL but what we THINK.
The agenda to cause confusion among the future citizens regarding all aspects of life is very pronounced but many do not realize the tactics.
In the movie I noted most of the young crowd singing along ..clearly having internalized the lyrics of the song….I looked up a few of those chosen that were being performed…profanity and sexually explicit references were very clearly the theme and content.
One lyric poster was full of praise for the song and the singer..well known ….and then said that they were 8 years old.
Maybe parents are not always aware of what their children listen to but THEY SHOULD BE! Who else should care enough ? But many parents are clueless to this issue and then wonder why things go arrye
Back to the movie of the concert they interviewed a number of parents there along with their children which is good but their tacit endorsement and praise for a show of this kind was still appalling …just because it was presented by what ‘appeared’ to be just your average high school kids.
ONE of the numbers opened up with one of the cast …all are well known by their many MANY fans..aged from as young as 4 through …adults …The performer had once portrayed a pregnant cheer leader….IN THIS segment she came on stage in a cute outfit but proceeded to STRIP….she took off her shirt and underneath was a provocative ‘bra’ …swimsuit sort of top …with the rest of her outfit being scant…Her movements were also very sensual and provocative.
NO attempt was made throughout the show to down play sexuality in fact their REVELED in the ‘diversity’ theme including very explicit sexuality.
My view is not from being sheltered…wish it had been , my life in the music business left no illusions…I see the whole plan behind this …and I am not so sure you HAVE to be a believer to see it
The push for the acceptance of sin , to get ‘everyone on board” so the complete destruction of all forms of what holds a society together is “ON” ….it is now picking up speed like crazy
I mourn the lost innocence that was once known as “CHILDHOOD” ..no wonder we see some pretty outrageous behaviors younger and younger….suicide…murder….deviance….sadistic bullying….what examples have they had? TV ? VIDEO GAMES? ..,,,even some church enviroments?
Hsa 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.
Open minds unprotected by the armour of truth found in God’s word….left vulnerable and moved to “FIT IN” by any means…
GLEE has been a good TOOL in the arsenal of the social engineers I must say …so sad…Music IS a GREAT bait to the minds of those unaware of it’s powerful impact ….but those who realize it’s usefulness …Like the Devil who was there to observe our Creator’s forming of our bodies …our minds made with the intention of receiving and using the WISDOM of GOD …now have been ill equipped to reject false notions and to refute wicked ideas that lure to act upon them!
Jer 5:31 The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests bear rule by their means; and my people love [to have it] so: and what will ye do in the end thereof?
Jer 4:14 O Jerusalem, wash thine heart from wickedness, that thou mayest be saved. How long shall thy vain thoughts lodge within thee?
That goes for ANY who are willing to turn to the Lord .
Jer 33:3 Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
Isa 57:15 For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name [is] Holy; I dwell in the high and holy [place], with him also [that is] of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.
Isa 66:2 For all those [things] hath mine hand made, and all those [things] have been, saith the LORD: but to this [man] will I look, [even] to [him that is] poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word.
Zaza,
You are certainly perceptive. I have often thought that the ‘diversity’ theme in pop culture had been corrupted and is now a vehicle for seduction. Instead of learning how to get along with other cultures and ways, we are now to embrace them, even when the culture is a sexually deviant one. What were once perversions and wickedness are now labeled as cultural differences. When you stand against those perversions, you are labeled as being ‘intolerant’, ‘bigoted’, ‘hateful’ and a host of other adjectives. It is concerning that the dialogue regarding cultural differences is becoming so polarized. Although ‘acceptance’ has traditionally been viewed as a Christian virtue, it is being exploited. It is more important for people to stand for what is right and walk in the fear of God rather than accepting all perversions due to the fear of man.
Psa 35:19 Let not them that are mine enemies wrongfully rejoice over me: [neither] let them wink with the eye that hate me without a cause.
Psa 35:20 For they speak not peace: but they devise deceitful matters against [them that are] quiet in the land.
Psa 35:21 Yea, they opened their mouth wide against me, [and] said, Aha, aha, our eye hath seen [it].
Psa 35:22 [This] thou hast seen, O LORD: keep not silence: O Lord, be not far from me.
23 Stir up thyself, and awake to my judgment, even unto my cause, my God and my Lord.
24 Judge me, O Lord my God, according to thy righteousness; and let them not rejoice over me.
25 Let them not say in their hearts, Ah, so would we have it: let them not say, We have swallowed him up.
26 Let them be ashamed and brought to confusion together that rejoice at mine hurt: let them be clothed with shame and dishonour that magnify themselves against me.
27 Let them shout for joy, and be glad, that favour my righteous cause: yea, let them say continually, Let the Lord be magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servant.
28 And my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness and of thy praise all the day long.
Matthew 10: 32 Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.
33 But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
40 He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.
41 He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet’s reward; and he that receiveth a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man’s reward.
42 And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward.