How you live your life matters. What you do behind closed doors is a concern for all those around you. Although contemporary voices shout that “What happens behind closed doors is nobody’s business”, like William Blake‘s proverbs of Hell, such thinking as ‘it’s nobody’s business” will bring heartache and misery.
The morals of couples shape the moral atmosphere of your family and where you live. Whether or not you are committed to each other does impact more people than you realize. How you live your life sends a message to your family and neighbors. It’s hard to be a ‘good neighbor’ and be committed to your community, when you’re not committed to your marriage.
If you want to talk in terms of ‘vibes’, affairs generate some very destructive vibes. The sensuality, fighting and tension are not things that stay behind closed doors. Those around you will sense when there is tension in the air. They will be able to tell whether or not you and your spouse are getting along.
With an affair, you are stealing or being stolen from. Theft, whether of material things or spouses or the affection of spouses does bring consequences.
Would any healthy neighborhood openly welcome thieves? When couples have affairs, they often expect the neighbors to continue accepting them without reservation and not to impose ‘morals’ on them.No one wants someone else telling them ‘how to live’. Even though no one like the moralizing, everyone knows that theft hurts everyone.
The problem is that the cheater is imposing their morals on their family and their neighborhood. They are forcing the morality of those around them to accept whatever wrongs they have done. Never mind that they don’t want others forcing their values on them, the cheater forces everyone to condone their values.
A second consideration is that the consequences of taking what is not yours is always destructive. From symptoms like depression, fear, to health problems like ulcers, high blood pressure or other maladies, affairs will have their effect. You can say, it is ‘none of anyone else’s business”, yet when your health begins impinging on others, including those caring for you, it becomes their business.
You may cheat on your spouse, but you cannot cheat the law of cause and effect. That law of cause and effect often roosts on your life and home bringing with it all kinds of conflicts, curses and negative vibes. They may come in the form of ‘negativity’ and tension or health related problems.
It may also show up as social awkwardness as you tell all those around you that things are fine, yet they can see for themselves that it is not. That leaves them feeling uneasy. They’ll make judgements about you based on that. It’ll send a message that you are insincere, if not a liar. Being considered the neighborhood liar is not an honor that you want.
When I hear, “It’s nobody’s business”, I know better. The person being fooled is often the one saying it. Neighborhoods either thrive or suffer based on the lives lived by those living there. Your choices do impact those around you.
The GOOD news is your marriage can change. In the Affair Recovery Workshop, I am going to show you ways of handling this problem so that the two of you can address issues without fighting, increases the likelihood of saving your marriage and help you and your spouse feel better about the marriage you have.
Your neighbors and friends will notice the change.
Best Regards,
Jeff
