Once you suspect or discover an affair, there will be times that you find yourself dealing with ‘grey’ areas. These are the areas where the answers and choices are not quite ‘black and white’.
When faced with such situations, how should you handle them? The simple answer of ‘run’ or ‘leave the situation’ always work.
Although these are sure fire solutions, you may not always see the options when you’re in those situations. You may even see the solutions, yet you do not want to ‘leave’, you’re having too much fun, or you don’t want others to think that you’re a ‘square’.
Many problems have been created by making compromises in order to gain acceptance.
When you are hurting, you are more vulnerable to being taken advantage of. There are some people that will exploit your crisis by taking advantage of either you or your spouse.
When you’re vulnerable, you may be so desperate to regain your spouse that you tolerate some grey in your life. You may even venture into areas that previously you would not have considered, just to regain your spouse’s affection or to reduce your own loneliness.
You may even consider increasing your alcohol or drug consumption, just to block the pain or get some sleep. One of the problems is that one compromise always leads to another compromise.
Each step into the grey areas takes you closer to the darkness and things you definitely consider ‘unacceptable‘.
The irony is that the seduction into the grey actually begins in the ‘white’ areas of your life. Innocent little compromises where you did nothing wrong often start the process.
By the time you’re in the grey areas, the momentum of those choices often pushes you deeper and faster into areas that you know better than to venture into. It may even be curiosity that drives you.
You want to know what that dark side is like by stepping into that world. Your motive may be pure, but your choices leave you vulnerable.
You may even assume that you are stronger than the grey areas or that you know your way out. Remember that Hansel and Gretel thought they knew the way out of their mess as well.
You may even assume that by limiting your venture into the grey to mental exercises or visiting grey websites will leave you unscathed. Each taste of the grey will often leaves you wanting more. This is part of the seduction of the grey areas.
The best thing to do is to leave before the grey surrounds you.
When you are in the middle of an affair, or an affair-like situation, you’ll benefit from the video, “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery“. In it, you’ll find what you need in helping yourself or others who have gone too far into the grey areas.
Best Regards,
Jeff
