When the question “Do affairs make you stupid?” was posed to me, I had to stop and think for a moment. My initial response was along the lines of the ‘which came first, the chicken or the egg?’ line of thinking.
In order to have an affair, the cheater makes some stupid choices. So which comes first, the choices or the consequences and “gee, what happened?” kind or response?
After doing some thinking through and research on the topic, the simple answer is “Yes, affairs make you stupid.”
That simple statement is harsh but true. When you have an affair, in most cases, you will find yourself in the ‘affair fog’ (which I have written posts about and address in greater detail in my e-book “Why He Cheats“).
Part of the affair fog is a ‘dulling of the senses. This dulling includes insensitivity, dull, seeming to be out of it’. Although the cheater may tell you that they feel very alive, you see a very different picture. They seem to be in ‘la-la land’ and mentally not with you.
In the classic definition of ‘stupid’, the word means, “dull, insensitive, insensible, senseless, wanting in understanding”. Other variations of ‘stupid such as ‘stupidly’ mean ‘with suspension of or inactivity of understanding; without the exercise of reason or judgement”.
So, when a person jumps into an illicit relationship, they are definitely showing a lack of understanding. From their behavior when questioned about the affair, you will definitely see the insensitivity, dullness and lack of sound reason.
Modern language has taken the word ‘stupid’ and changed its meaning to convey low intelligence. The cheater may be very intelligent, yet lacking in sound judgement.
A person can be very intelligent, yet show insensitivity and poor reasoning. Although some poor judgement may have been exhibited in choosing to have an affair, there is certainly more shown by staying in the affair.
It is hard to convince people that having an affair makes you stupid, since so many popular songs encourage such behavior and many celebrities lead lifestyles filled with affairs. They contribute to a culture that adores and celebrates affairs while ignoring the simple fact that affairs make you stupid. They have to.
You senses have to be dulled to continue in such a lifestyle. The only way that you can live like an ‘animal’ filled with lust and insatiable passions is to dull your thinking and judgement. Am I saying that all those celebrities are ‘stupid?’. Yes, I am.
Even though they are talented, they are showing poor judgement with their choosing to live a lifestyle focused on sensate living rather than logical or sound reasoning.
Best Regards,
Jeff
