On reading news reports of how mature married teachers end up sleeping with their students, you start asking questions. You may wonder “How” something like that could happen. You may also want to dismiss the event as something that could never happen until it does.
I know it seemed odd to me until my neighbor across the street was found with one of their students. When it happens across the street from you, it becomes very real and concerning.
The reality is that these types of inappropriate relationships can occur between anyone, even mature teachers and their students. It’s important to understand the complexity of the situation and grasp why it may have happened in order to protect yourself and any children you may be responsible for.
A phrase heard when discussing affairs is “She’s not the same person”. The betrayed talks about their spouse using words and phrases about how they are different. Along with such phrases are mentions of how their spouse is doing things that they would never do in their marriage. This often happens after they discover texts or emails.
As the devastated spouse, you’re left broken and bewildered at such revelations. You discover a world you never knew existed. You discover that the man or woman you married is very different in their communication and behavior.
You have a choice to either reject this behavior or accept that the person you married is someone else. You will be tempted to ask for that person back, but that won’t happen. Asking “How could she” isn’t going to provide an answer anyway.
It’s as if you find yourself living with an alien! They are now doing and talking about things they’d never even considered before. How does this happen?
You may find yourself staring in disbelief at the evidence before you, thinking ‘This has got to be a big mistake!’ You may even have to pinch yourself in some way as a reminder that ‘This is real’.
You wonder “How did that happen?” What changed your spouse?
The answer in such cases is ...’Creepers’. The creepers look for openings in your spouse’s life. Once they find their way in, they begin grooming them for the affair. It may start off with some off-color jokes, or phrases with double meanings. On the surface, such ploys look innocent, yet in reality, they are part of the creeper’s seduction.
Then it may move on to flirting or sexual innuendos.
When such behavior is not stopped, the creeper will continue until their objective is achieved. The reality of such a situation is that once it has been established, you have very little control over what happens next.
Words grow more seductive and often open the door to photos and images intended to arouse. They know that the greater the arousal, the faster the seduction. They often use curiosity as a way of opening the back door into your spouse’s life. They know what words and phrases to use in making things happen.
After sneaking into their victim’s life, the creeper takes them further down into depravity. They take them deeper and deeper into sleazy areas. Like an animal, they take their victims back into their den or hole. Your spouse begins entertaining thoughts that were ‘off limits’ with you, yet with the creeper, there seems to be nothing that’s taboo.
The excitement of entering forbidden areas and topics is captivating for the cheater. You see the dingy depraved hole for what it is, while the cheater only sees the excitement.
Once the cheater has been snared mentally, the creeper continues with their plan. After the mental seduction comes physical seduction. The creeper knows that all they need to do is arouse lust in the right way and their victim starts seducing them. All they need to do is arouse your spouse and then unleash them.
The scary thing is that the workplace and neighborhoods are teeming with creepers looking for those they can exploit. Creepers know the behavioral ‘tells’ that signal marital problems or tensions. since creepers are experienced seducers, they operate like well-oiled machines.
With most creepers, by the time you wake up to the danger, the damage has been done. Even when the creeper is gone, the poison they left behind is dangerous for your marriage.
If you suspect creepers are threatening your marriage, the time for action is now. Your marriage needs help.
Download the Affair Recovery Workshop and change the direction your marriage is headed. It will start your marriage heading in a good direction so that you are not so vulnerable to creepers.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
