Just a few weeks ago, I received a comment on one of my blog posts from another fan of swinging. The comment, which I initially attributed to a troll bothered me. Although the comment shares much in common with troll-like comments, there’s a slim chance it’s genuine.
In the comment, the reader stated, “Been wife-swapping for 30 years now and it’s with my minister and his wife. Best thing we have ever done. It’s god plan to do this. He has a plan for all of us.”
I’m not sure why the open marriage promoters share the view that swapping is God’s plan for them. Justifying their behavior by saying it’s part of the Almighty’s plan for them bothers me on many levels.
First, it’s not a respectful way to treat God. When people try to rationalize their behavior by claiming it as part of God’s plan for them, they are essentially implying that the Almighty doesn’t know any better than us mere mortals. I don’t believe this is true, and if anything, we should be humble in our approach. But, I also know that some people are desperate in their search for excuses for their improprieties.
I’ve seen some spouses use the Divine ploy as a way of getting into someone’s pants, yet stretching it to justify the swinging lifestyle stretches doctrine in ways I never imagined.
It’s also disturbing that one of the couples swinging is a minister. When this happens, reputations are destroyed and ministries become mockeries.
I also know from personal experience that some ministers get caught up in messes like this. They are human and fall prey to human temptations. Having worked with ministers caught up in affairs, when they come to their senses, they’re extremely distraught.
One of the most harrowing moments in my life as a counselor was when one of these types of ministers threatened to electrocute himself in front of me. The depth of his pain was so intense, I felt it just a few feet away from him.
The stark contrast between the infidelity-promoting commenter and the minister I worked with is day and night. Having seen the results of intense long-term infidelity in a minister, I’ve learned that infidelity is deadly serious business.
Infidelity may give intense highs to some, yet it also takes you to new depths of pain you never thought possible. Given that ministers are people of influence, what they say and do impact a wide circle of people.
When a minister succumbs to affairs, it damages not only them but the whole congregation as well. The damage includes both visible and invisible effects. Their focus shifts from being spiritually minded to being sensually focused.
It’s not easy to shake off this kind of behavior once it becomes a habit. The spiritual and physical effects are felt everywhere by everyone who was connected to the church or ministry in any way.
Although the minister I worked with felt hopeless at that moment, he managed to move past the pain. There is hope for change. You can move past the traumatic effects of infidelity and swinging.
In the video ‘Overcoming Affair Trauma” I share ways of moving past ugly events that have stained your life. You don’t have to let the shadow from bad things in your past continue haunting you.
Download the video and start moving past what happened to you. Recovering from the affair gives you relief and guiltless joy like you’ve never had before.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
