Playboy magazine, with its ‘Playboy’ philosophy has wreaked havoc on many marriages. In previous generations before ‘Playboy’ such behavior was often termed as “catting” around, and those who did it were referred to as ‘tomcats’ or ‘a traveling man’ or ‘a rounder’.
The terms used were not complimentary. You may think of those terms as cute now but, being called one of those names amounted to being considered a male ‘whore’.
Prior to the advent of the playboy mentality, it wasn’t considered ‘cool’ or ‘fashionable’ to run around on your wife. The playboy philosophy combined loose morals with popular culture, style, and fashion.
Each month you had a the mentality of loose morals was validated along with a new collection of attractive women waiting for the reader. The magazine also promoted stylish clothing and current events.
By doing so, they created a connection between being ‘cultured’ with having loose morals. There were other magazines also promoting such thinking for both men and women.
Playboy is associated with this trend since they were the first major publication to promote the philosophy. It’s founder, Hugh Hefner proudly spread the message of his ‘Playboy Philosophy’.
When a husband adopts this philosophy, there are consequences. The playboy philosophy defines men as cultural hedonists.
When a man defines himself in such terms there are consequences. Gone are the qualities of loyalty, commitment, determination, and resourcefulness when it comes to the family.
With the new philosophy, all loyalties, commitments, determination and resources go toward them indulging in what makes them happy and appear cool. The more selfish they are, the cooler they are.
Removing the magazine will not remove the playboy husbands thinking. They will need to re-define what it means to be a man.
Besides redefining what it means to be a man, they will need to reject the whole playboy mindset.They’ll have to reject that the measure of a man is in the number of women they have, the number of female admirers, the number of watches they own, the quality of their suits or any other forms of this type of score keeping.
Perhaps they need to visit a sleazy adult book store, look at the customers and see for themselves where the playboy mentality eventually takes them. Notice the intense sadness and loneliness in such places. If they study the patrons and their emotional state instead of the products, they may learn a few lessons.
They’re not happy men. The number of people they have been with has not made their lives better or made them more of a man.
Few husbands are willing to do this. At the core, this (playboy philosophy) thinking is that the clothes and actions make the man.The playboy mentality is the new packaging for the old idea that external trappings make the man.
Playboy spent large amounts of money marketing this thinking and image. It’s a created veneer rather than a fact of life.
Those in the playboy philosophy rely on the external trappings to make the internal man feel better about himself and feel more accepted. Those trapped in this world don’t realize that what’s on the inside always come out.
True self-acceptance starts on the inside and not on the outside.
Getting your husband out of the playboy mentality also means shifting their focus. They’ll have to focus on developing internal qualities rather than emphasizing the externals.
If you want more help in understanding the cheater’s thinking, download the ebook “Why He Cheats“. In there, you’ll see how the role of fantasy and other matters influence their thinking along with what you can do about it.
Best Regards,
Jeff
