Although you want you spouse to come back to you and return home, how are you going to deal with it? Mishandling their returning home can end up doing more damage to an already hurting relationship.
Everyone will be highly sensitive to rejection. Everyone’s emotions will be raw.
If you or they sense rejection, there will be reactions. Many times communications will be misinterpreted due to their rejection issues.
That means you will have to be careful how you react to them and things that are said. Although you said that you wanted them back.
You may have even prayed to have them return. Now that they are back, are you willing to welcome them back?
Sure, they may have no other place to go, yet reminding them of their situation and taking advantage of their plight is a sure way to foster alienation. You do not want the welcome mat to say one thing, yet you treat them in a very unwelcome manner.
You’ll want them to feel welcomed, wanted and safe.
Making someone feel welcome involves sending the message that you enjoy their company. Griping at them, or punishing them are turn offs.
You may still want to ‘let them have it’ and they may deserve it, but you will want to have self-restraint. You worked to hard to get them back to just push them out the door with your snarky remarks, preaching or lecturing them.
Welcoming someone involves being thankful that they are there. This means you are thankful towards them and towards God for them being back home.
If you can’t be thankful, then maybe you are not ready for them to return home.
Welcoming someone means being cheerful that they are back home. You smile, you’re pleasant and you’re warm towards them.
Having a sour look or mean face moments are a big turn off. This means you may have to work on how you are handling your own emotions.
Before you can deal with sharing emotions, you may need to have control of your own. If you can’t handle your emotions, what makes you think they can handle them?
Welcoming someone means that you treat them hospitably. If friends are treated better at your home than how you treat your spouse, you will need to make some improvements.
Knowing what to do when the cheater returns is important. Handling them the wrong way or taking things out on them damages recovery.
In the downloadable ‘Affair Recovery Workshop” I address what needs doing and when it needs to be done. Getting recovery tasks in the wrong order leads to conflicts and misunderstandings.
Best Regards,
Jeff
