When in the midst of pain and hurt, it is easy to forget the simple things. Your mind is so focused on what your spouse did and what you are considering to do about it that you forget to take care of yourself. You are so focused on reacting to them (whether your spouse or their lover) you forget to take care of you.
Taking care of yourself needs to be the first priority. You need to breathe. Then you need to breathe and finally you need to breathe. This is not just for survival, you need to breathe in order to get the oxygen to your brain. It is a given that 20% of the oxygen your body uses is for the brain. When you are stressed, the heart quickens and the breathing quickens as well. Although breathing is faster, it is more shallow. You are not getting enough oxygen. Your brain and body are wanting more. It panics as it starves for the oxygen. Since people often adjust to their situation, you may adjust to the starving lack of oxygen. Over a period of time, your brain starts to starve from not enough oxygen and this leads to even more intense panicky feelings. Once in a panic mode, you will react even faster, without much thinking at all.
Rather than get caught up in panic and reaction, BREATHE! Take a breath before you answer the phone. Breathe before you answer the door. Breathe before you write an email. You may have to force it at first. It may feel awkward, but it will help slow you down and bring more oxygen to your brain. Your brain needs the oxygen to think. When things get to fast and reactionary—BREATHE!
Now take a breath.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
