Affairs bring destruction to marriages and families. Despite being destructive, they continue being promoted in many places and in many ways.
When a behavior is destructive, yet continues being promoted, you may begin to wonder about the sick cycle that is going on.
Anytime you consciously and willingly engage in a behavior producing destructive results, there’s something wrong. If you know it’ll hurt you, yet you continue doing it, such a behavior is sick.
As illogical as it sounds, there are some cheaters who want their marriage to self-destruct. They feel undeserving or unworthy of their spouse.
Rather than deal with their insecurities and doubts, it’s easier for them to have an affair. For them, they hope the affair is their exit from the marriage.
There are also some ‘progressive’ thinkers (followers of Antonio Gramsci and Georg Lukacs) actively seeking the destruction of marriage. Those followers view marriage as something needing destruction.
Since affairs are so disruptive, if not destructive to marriage, anti-marriage activists use affairs and sexual corruption as tools promoting their agenda.
These thinkers and their activist adherents manage seducing many couples by portraying affairs as ‘cool’ or ‘trendy’. Those couples have placed trendiness ahead of the health of their own marriage.
There are pressures now on marriages like yours to have affairs. These pressures raise questions about whether it is an illness to be in a monogamous marriage as the post-modern progressives claim or should affairs be classified as an illness themselves?
When you classify an affair as an ‘illness’, then those cheating are ‘sick’. They are seeking unhealthy ways to meet their needs.
While in the midst of the affair, they’ll claim that they are ‘happy’ or ‘passionate’ or ‘fulfilled’. They are effectively experiencing a chemical high. When ‘under the influence’ they don’t see what they are doing as an illness.
These are temporary emotional states. When you put your whole marriage at risk for a few moments of an emotional rush from the chemicals being released into their body, there is an instability.
The emotional highs and lows related to affairs are not conducive to stable relationships. There is no commitment, so relationship insecurity will be high.
Claiming that an insecure relationship filled with emotional mood swings is ‘healthy’ or ‘normal’ based on the practices of animals or primitive tribes is whacked to say the least. It is not healthy by any measure.
Healthy behaviors are those promoting security, well-being, stability and health of the marriage. Affairs don’t enhance any of these qualities.
Instead, they promote insecurity, selfishness, instability and weaken the health of the marriage relationship. By extension, weak marriages weaken society, neighborhoods and cultures.
Affairs and sickness often go hand in hand, whether physical, emotional, relational or spiritual ills. Health and healthy relationships are the antithesis of affairs.
If your marriage has been damaged by an affair, it can be repaired. The downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop” guides you through that journey. You and your spouse can rebuild rather than settle for damaged lives and pieces of a broken unhealthy marriage.
Best Regards,
Jeff
