When drugs are used in cheating such as Rohypnol, it changes things. The reason it changes how you approach the cheating is that Rohypnol, high levels of alcohol or other mind altering chemicals impair the volitional part of your brain.
Let me put it this way. The drugged mind says “Why not?”. The mind on Rohypnol says “What happened?”
The volitional part is that part you use in making conscious decisions. When you are not consciously saying yes to an affair, it’s hard holding you accountable for your choices.
There are also questions about choices to go drinking, or not taking precautions that allowed someone to be drugged with Rohypnol, scopolamine, etc.
If a person was drugged without their awareness, they can not be held accountable the same way as someone who took such drugs intentionally in order to have ‘plausible deniability’ regarding an affair.
As shocking as it sounds, there are some people who take substances prior to the an affair happening so as to appear innocent or avoid any guilt reactions to them having an affair.
Years ago, Gary Puckett had a song that included the line “Woman, have you got cheating on your mind?” The song talks about how he sees the way she moves and behaves. It it clear to him that she is “on the move”.
When a potential cheater or a cheater is ‘on the move’, it changes many things. If they are on the move, the meaning of the Rohypnol changes. This is one reason why one answer does not fit all situations.
Although making a blanket statement that “when a person who is drugged has an affair, they are an innocent victim” is true in many cases, they may have made some choices setting the situation up.
In such cases, the many high risk indications were ignored or they just plain were not thinking. They may have plunged head first into a high risk situation with reckless abandoned.
You’re only going go to be able to sort it out with frank discussions of the events leading up to what happened and the decision points along the way. This is where methods I present in the video “Preventing Affair Relapse” will guide you as to what to look for.
The ‘victim’ may not be 100% innocent. Handling such situations often varies from person to person.
If there is anything I have learned in dealing with affairs is that what should be ‘cut and dried’ is not always so ‘cut and dried’.
Best Regards,
Jeff
