While at a convenience store in Florida City on Halloween, I was overwhelmed by a sudden swarm of costumed people suddenly thronging the store from a bus that drove up and released them. They rushed in, filled the once quiet store with loud, brazen comments and behaviors. They rudely pushed their way through the store as if it were taken over.
When the sudden flash mob returned to their bus, I talked with the clerk. She informed me that they were heading down to Key West for the annual ‘Fantasy Fest‘. Although it is called a Fantasy Fest, many of those who participate in the standing room only gathering are adorned in the skimpiest of outfits, if any and covered with body paint. The clerk commented, “I went to it ONCE, but since then I got married” as she began checking out our purchase.
I found myself amazed at her simple wisdom. She had the common sense to avoid debauchery at events like fantasy fest, and also realized that it was no place for a married woman or a married man.
When it comes to affairs, many cheaters rush headlong into what they are doing, like the herd of party goers to fantasy fest. When I say herd, I mean herd. Throughout the day, bus after bus travel Highway 1 on their way to fantasy fest. Even cheaters who stay at home, often entertain personal fantasies of going to such a debauched event, where getting drunk, dressing up or down, and giving yourself over to carnal desires is what they consider ‘fun’.
Over the years, I have learned that when something is truly ‘fun’, everyone enjoys it. When the fantasy fest folks drive up and are released, they disregard others, disregard manners and often disregard decency on their way to have fun. When fun is at the expense of others, it is not truly fun, it becomes exploitation.
Think about how often your cheater engages in what they call ‘fun’ when in reality it is exploitation. They are having fun, but you sure aren’t.
When you get married, you enter a serious relationship. You also put aside your childish ways, and festivals of carnality such as Fantasy Fest. Getting married is for ‘grown -ups’. Getting married is also for those who wish to commit themselves to one person and also limit themselves to that same person. Fantasy fest and fantasy fest thinking is not conducive to limiting yourself to your spouse and conducting yourself in ‘moderation’.
Instead of thinking that some lively celebration will improve your marriage, consider taking some steps that will improve communication, increase intimacy and reduce conflicts instead of investing in loud, brash, self-indulging revelry.
The investment you make in the Affair Recovery Workshop may be what will bring real new life into your marriage in a way that no party can.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
