If you are like me, there may be times that you wonder, “What is the big deal about Josh Dugger?”
On one level, since he was a celebrity in a reality television show, his infidelity has turned into a public spectacle. Anytime a celebrity has an affair, it is a news event. You may be able to avoid discussing the affair by claiming it is a ‘private matter’. When you are a celebrity, part of the price tag is the loss of much of your privacy.
Affairs, by their nature amount to having your dirty laundry aired in public. It becomes a stain of shame on you and your family. When you are a celebrity, that stain is magnified. With the increased influence that comes with being a celebrity, there are increased pressures.
Since celebrities are given the power of public attention, anything they do is amplified. In the case of Josh Dugger, you are dealing with several factors that make his situation more striking. One is that he and his family are conservative Christian. Since there are many in society that love to find fault with Christians, his situation allows them to take their digs at the Christian beliefs and conservative values as well.
He made the mistake of using Ashley Madison. From the numbers of victims, there are many other users of Ashley Madison, although in Josh Dugger’s case, the media is going to publicly humiliate him. Imagine if the media gave the same treatment to the federal prosecutors, or high level politicians who did the same thing. When the threats of exposure happen there, cases are thrown out on ‘jurisdictional grounds’ so that justice is perverted rather than dirty laundry being aired.
The fact that he has a large family, makes his situation more public. The impact of his actions is wider than other cheaters. He was a loving father that knew better. Many cheaters still cheat even though they know what they are doing is wrong. I have seen this in the Affair Recovery Index results.
The Dugger situation goes against many progressive societal norms. Anna Dugger is still committed to their marriage. Since loyalty and relationship commitment are not consistent with modern progressive morality, the Dugger situation goes against the grain.
What makes matters worse is that the Jim Dugger’s father has close associations with a prominent Christian organization and leader. Since the organization and leader are strong advocates for a return to conservative Christian values, the media loves any moral turpitude they can find.
The progressive media is having a feeding frenzy on any opportunity they encounter to smear and dirty the reputation of the minister, his ministry and Christian beliefs. Since the minister was highly respected, along with being an advocate of a return to Biblical standards and homeschooling, it provided the media an opportunity with a target rich environment. Sadly, it is not just the progressive media involved in the feeding frenzy. Some Christian groups are joining the feeding frenzy.
When the media jumps on bad choices of prominent people, it often makes things scary for you and your situation. When the media pounces on an affair with all the gusto a a shark feeding frenzy, it often encourages others in society to do the same. A weird herd mentality takes over and cheaters who have taken moral stands are some of their favorite targets.
The Josh Dugger dirty laundry is providing a situation where their critics can attack the Dugger’s, their values, their associates their homeschooling and their theology with ridicule and mockery. If it was your family, having the added ridicule and mockery would make affair recovery a living hell.
Good people do make bad choices at times. In the case of the Dugger’s, those bad choices make national media outlets with each new wrinkle. During a time that they need prayer, patience and understanding, the media jumps on their situation with public ridicule, shame and embarrassment.
The media is often very forgiving of affairs unless it involves Christians or prominent conservatives. When a pastor is involved, or a prominent conservative, the media has a feeding frenzy. They will allow many people gimmes, but not when your values involve taking stands. The media is quick to rush to judgement before all the facts or in.
It is as if the media expects perfection from those anyone who encourages higher standards. There is nothing wrong with encouraging higher standards. We should all strive for higher standards, and rising above mistakes and bad choices. When you make a bad choice, deal with it, learn from it and make the situation better.
The Josh Dugger episode is a sad one, although an instructive one. It exposes the biases of the media. It shows that even good people make mistakes, and the dangers of being in the media spotlight. So the next time you see a prominent Christian or conservative family in the spotlight with the dirty laundry of an affair, you may want to pray for them rather than jumping into the feeding frenzy of attacking and prejudging.
I want to help you and your family move past the affair, and make your marriage and family better.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
