Although I enjoy the programs and applications that ask me the question, “What do you want to do today?” The question sparks me to start my day with a little extra enthusiasm. It makes me feel better about starting the day. It’s as if its giving me permission to do what I want to do.
If they asked me “What are you putting off another day?” it would make me uncomfortable. At the same time this question forces me to honestly face my own procrastination.
It’s easier thinking that the days business just didn’t leave any time to get everything done. When you point out intentional procrastination, it stings you a little. Even though you don’t want to admit it, there are things you are intentionally putting off.
Honestly, I allowed things to interfere with that tasks I am putting off. Excuses for delaying are easy to come by. When you’re delaying almost any excuse will do.
Your marriage is important to you. Is it important enough to do the important things that bring change? Although it’s important, you may instead be putting off changing things, even for the better.
There’s a natural tendency for you to want to ‘keep things routine and the same’. This tendency gives your life some structure, but it also interferes with recovery from an affair.
In a similar manner, you need to ask yourself whether or not you truly want to forgive the cheater today. Holding onto your hurt gives you emotional power. It feeds your anger, yet at the same time it pushes people away and surrounds you with the decaying stench of bitterness.
You may even be one of those who hope that the whole affair thing goes away on its own.
It’s not going away on its own. It also impacted you and your marriage. Each day you put off forgiveness is another day of missing support, peace of mind and intimacy. You know you need to forgive, yet avoid doing anything.
Another day of delay means there’s more you need to let go of, it means the burden you’re carrying becomes a little heavier.
One relapse prevention specialist said, “To know without acting is to not know“. He makes it clear that just knowing about what needs to be done and choosing passivity amounts to not knowing. Even with all the pieces of information you have, you still haven’t realized the need for action with them.
Knowing what you need to do and ignoring it or putting it off amounts to not knowing it at all.
The video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the walls and Remove the roadblocks” guides you in getting started forgiving. The sooner you act regarding forgiveness, the sooner the healing of your hurts begins. If you’ve been intentionally putting off forgiving, this is your call to do something about it now.
Each delay means you’ll have more forgiveness to deal with.
Best Regards,
Jeff
