When growing up I knew I was in trouble when my dad sternly said to me, “I’ve got a bone to pick with you!” At those times, I knew he disagreed with me about something.
Disagreements with him were challenging since he had the attitude of “It’s my way or the highway.” A disagreement with him meant he believed I was wrong about something.
Fortunately, disagreements are handled differently now. It’s no longer a matter that if I disagree with him I’m automatically wrong.
That episode came to mind this morning as I pondered a news story about forgiveness regarding Pope Francis. Pope Francis insisted that there’s a ‘duty’ to forgive. When anyone tells me that I have a ‘duty’ to forgive, it rankles me. I now have a ‘bone to pick’ with Pope Francis.
I approach disagreeing with religious leaders with caution. They have responsibilities on their shoulders beyond my comprehension. Even though they have such responsibilities, when things are said that pose dangers, I feel compelled to speak. I have a serious ‘bone to pick’ regarding forgiveness.
Telling you that there’s a ‘duty to forgive’ without telling you HOW sets you up for failure. It amounts to a huge guilt trip being put on you. You are sent out on a mission with no instructions. It sends two disturbing messages he may not have considered.
One is the message that if you don’t forgive..you’re a failure.
If you don’t know how to forgive…you’re a failure.
A message that could’ve been direction and encouragement is instead one of condemnation. When you are going through recovery from an affair, you struggle enough with feeling like a failure without the Pope of all people pouring more condemnation on you for struggling with forgiveness.
I also wish he’d point out the difference between forgiving the offender and forgiving the offense. Without knowing the difference, you could end up forgiving the wrong thing.
Apparently the Pope hasn’t benefited from the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks“. Had he listened to it, he’d of known some of these hidden dangers regarding forgiveness before he told you it was your duty to forgive.
In telling you of your duty to forgive, you’re left feeling guilty for being angry about what happened. Your emotional recovery is forced from you. That in itself is traumatizing.
The good news is that you can benefit from knowing the in-depth secrets about forgiveness that others aren’t aware of. You can start changing your marriage with the transformation it brings.
Order your copy of the forgiveness video today.
Best Regards,
Jeff
