When one of my sons went shopping for an automobile recently, he was put off by the experience. At every dealership, the sales force approached him with the attitude “What will it take to get you into a car TODAY?”
Although he told them upfront all he wanted was a brochure with features so that he could compare, they instead rushed him into making a decision. I understand their enthusiasm, but that wasn’t the best approach.
He trusts his gut and when pushed into making decisions before he’s looked at all the facts he says “NO!” He’s learned about the dangers of being pushed into bad choices.
When your gut tells you that someone is rushing the relationship, there’s a reason. Cheaters, like car sales people want their victim to ‘rush’ into their offer. They want you to react rather than think. They know that affairs rarely start under ideal circumstances.
If you were thinking straight, the affair wouldn’t have likely happened.
I was reminded of this when a reader wrote “…I felt pushed into getting to know him faster than I would want to..” This is a common ploy. When your gut says “Hit the brakes! Things are moving too fast.” There’s a reason for it.
When you ignore the warning sign of being rushed, you can find yourself in a situation that’s hard getting out of. You can be trapped into a relationship you never felt fully comfortable with.
At this point, after listening to your gut, you follow up with action. Saying “NO” and setting boundaries are your best strategies.
When you wait until you recognize the trap, it’s too late. If you saw their trap, it wouldn’t work. That’s why you have to trust your gut.
Although some relationship experts dismiss trusting your gut, I’m one that encourages it. The nerves in your gut alert you to dangers your mind is not fully aware of yet.
If you have ignored your gut and rushed in, there’s hope. Plan A is listening to your gut and avoiding the situation. Plan B is pulling yourself out of a mess.
This is where the video “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery” helps you in removing yourself from a relationship you didn’t really want.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
