Let me start off by thanking you for being here and reading this. I’m glad that you’re taking the time out to do so.
I appreciate you giving me some of your precious time and strive to not waste it. I’m also glad that you are starting your recovery.
At a conference I once attended, the speaker said “It’s by getting started that you heal.” My own variant of that is that “Getting started starts healing”.
So for a couple of reasons, it’s good that you are here. Recovery requires preparing yourself for change before the change occurs. Change happens in your thinking before it happens in your behavior.
Preparing yourself for making choices is part of the preparation process for affair recovery.
There are times your first big challenge is believing that there is a future and that change is possible. Letting go of the mindset that you have no future or that any kind of recovery is impossible is a big undertaking for some of you.
When your mind is filled with hopelessness, there’s no room for hope. Letting go of the hopeless mindset starts making room for hope.
I also realize even just reading material on affairs or visiting sites addressing the topic is a big risk. You’ve taken that risk and I acknowledge the effort it takes.
Looking for help is a big step. You may even have to hide your looking for help from your spouse.
It could be that you are so accustomed to disapproval, hearing any kind of validation leaves you feeling uneasy. It’s like validation messages are meant for someone else.
When surrounded by disapproval, it can leave you feeling de-valued as a human being and as a spouse. You may have even incorporated the disapproval into your own identity of who you are.
Bad things have happened, and you are taking steps to help yourself. You are taking steps to help your marriage.
You’ve been wounded in some way and are now looking for ways of dealing with that wounding. In the coming days, I’ll be sharing more with you on the topics related to affairs and relationships.
If you want to move faster or deal with things on a more intensive level, there are the products I’ll be telling you about. A place to start is with the video “Getting Past the Affair Crisis”.
That video guides you through the initial shock and days where you struggle just getting out of bed and finding your energy.
Thank you again.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
