Overcoming the magnetic pull of shame

It’s rare that I read a book just for enjoyment. Last month I read a book that was totally out of character for me called ‘Dogwatching’.

From reading it, I learned more things about dogs than I’d imagined. It gave me a new appreciation for dogs and their habits. One of the things that struck me was how dogs find their way home.

They rely on smell, and to some degree — magnetic fields. The magnetic fields struck me. I’d never considered magnets and dogs before.

There have been studies where strong magnets were set up and it disturbed the dogs ability to find its way home. I never suspected that magnetic fields had such an impact.

In a similar way, there are forces impacting you in ways you don’t understand. One of those is shame.

Shame keeps you from getting help. It’s pull keeps you stuck in your suffering. Shame keeps your mind focused on what happened to you. Shame keeps you from reaching out to others.

Shame paralyzes you and shuts you down. Even though it was the cheater that had the affair, the shame associated with it impacts you.

It’s still astounding how their action leaves you paralyzed. The power of shame isn’t fair.

It may even have you questioning if you are attractive enough, or sexy enough or thin enough or some other area of inadequacy. You get stuck in blaming yourself for their bad choice.

Like the magnetic field’s effect on dogs, shame exerts its power over you. It keeps you from where you could be. It keeps you off balance.

Not only does shame ruin your life now, it continues into the future as well, until you do something about it. Ignoring shame or giving into it only allows its influence to grow in size and power.

But there’s hope. A friend of mine pointed out “Shame has the same biological signature as trauma”. His comment lit the insight bulb in my head.

Since shame has the same biological signature as trauma, the same interventions that work with trauma will work in reducing shame as well. This means that you only have to deal with shame as long as you give into it. You don’t have to be eternally paying for what the cheater did.

In the video on “Overcoming Affair Trauma“, you can learn techniques that reduce shame as well. That invisible power of shame in your life can be neutralized.

You can reclaim your life and live it without shame crippling you any longer. You can escape it’s pull and power over your thinking and your daily life.

Once you escape it’s pull, you’ll find new freedom along with being freed from the burden it brings.

Keeping It Real,

Jeff

P. S. If you need additional help, there has been some new time slots opening up in my consultation schedule. If you’re interested, write to me at jeff@RestoreTheFamily.com