As a teenager, I recall jokes made concerning people searching for the ‘meaning of life’. Many involved trekking after THE expert in the form of a guru who had the answer.
Typically the guru character was portrayed as sitting in the lotus position high up in the mountains. The exception was National Lampoon’s radio hour which had a grand master named ‘Skippy’ who had answers to life’s problems.
Those images come back to me when readers pose questions like “How do I get over a six month affair?” Those asking these questions are looking for clear answers.
Not only do they want clear answers, they want it in short answer form. Besides the answer they want the recipe and roadmap for affair recovery.
The short answer to the question is ‘one day at a time, starting with today‘.
Although those seeking answers want the roadmap with all the stages of affair recovery along with the timeline that it takes in making through those stages, life doesn’t follow that set pattern within a given time frame.
They want an affair recovery timeline along with a promise of when it will happen. They’ve grown so accustomed to ‘sell by’ dates, that they want the same thing for affair recovery and their marriage.
They look for promises in books and articles concerning how long it takes. They want the promise of assured results by a given date. I understand you wanting reassurances and promises.
Your marriage doesn’t work like that. Neither you nor your spouse are robots or clocks that are programmed to function on a set time table.
Expecting your marriage to function that way puts you in the category of ‘controlling’. It makes your marriage look like something that is programmed. These are expectations of control.
When you’re dealing with a marriage relationship, things don’t go like clockwork. Relationships involve give and take, they have ups and downs, they have good days and bad ones. When you want a relationship that’s real, these are the realities you have to accept.
This means getting over the six month affair varies depending on the maturity of your love, your social skills, the issues behind the affair, your ability to forgive, and the level of trust in your relationship.
These intangibles make precise dates and time frames impossible to predict.
There are stages that you’ll go through in getting over the affair. You can learn what they are and what your relationship needs at those stages.
When you download the “Affair Recovery Workshop“, you’ll discover what is needed in getting over the affair, whether it’s a one-night stand, a six month affair or a longer term affair.
Getting over the affair also requires effort on your part. Sure, you can medicate and numb the pain, but that’s not getting over the affair. Getting over it requires working through it.
Working through the affair also means you’ll have to get honest with yourself about your needs, your strengths and what your ideas of a healthy marriage are. You’ll have to consider your own inadequacies as well as those of your spouse, in order to make things better.
Order your copy today and start working on getting over the affair one day at a time.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
