When massive flooding occurred in the Texas hill country a couple of years ago, several bridges were damaged. When the time came to repair the bridges, construction crews found ways of reaching out across the river or creek.
Over time, the damaged bridges were rebuilt or repaired. Their construction required vision and a plan. The bridges didn’t build themselves with good vibes and visualization.
Building bridges that reconnects the sides of the river requires effort.
Likewise rebuilding the damaged trust between you and your spouse requires effort, vision and a plan. Eventually you’ll have to consider how to rebuild the trust.
You need a solid plan rather than someone saying the way to rebuild trust is using internal focus where you change your thoughts and know more about your reactions.
Re-connecting with your spouse requires more than an internal focus. Building bridges in relationship requires tangible and concrete changes. You and your spouse need to see changes rather than just talking about them.
One expert recommends challenging your own mistrusting thoughts, trusting your own intuition and gaining an awareness of your own reactions as a way of rebuilding trust. This is akin to a construction engineer standing on the river bank and imagining a bridge in their head.
That imaginary bridge doesn’t re-connect the two sides of the river. Sure, it’s a start, but it’s not solid.
When the trust in your relationship has been damaged, like bridge damage, each of you need to see actual changes. You need to see something you can count on.
When it comes to trust, you need something more solid than a re-arrangement of your own mental furniture. That re-arrangement makes you feel better, but it doesn’t give your spouse or yourself something solid in your relationship.
In my video “How Can I Trust You Again?“, I share the four concrete steps needed in giving your trust a solid foundation. I show you what is there and what’s missing so that you can rebuild your relationship.
Trust needs a solid foundation that can be seen, felt and embraced. Making changes in your head and attitude helps, but more is needed. You can know what’s missing in so that trust can be rebuild in your marriage relationship.
Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
