When your main goal is getting your spouse to come back to you, it’s not enough. With that one goal, you run the risk of the cheater using it against you.
Although some spouses would love to have their spouse come back and react with jealousy when that happens to you, there’s a danger you need to be aware of when getting them back is your only goal.
At that moment, you’re vulnerable. You want them back so badly, you’re blind to a big danger. This danger has led some couples in making fatal errors.
This danger happens when the cheater comes back, expressing a desire for moving forward. When they say they want to move forward, they add the condition, “let’s not talk about what happened anymore. It’s over, let’s move forward.”
Another version is “Let’s put what happened in the past and move ahead.” A those moments, they dismiss your hurts and the damage done to your marriage. The sad part is that you went along with it.
They add the condition so subtly, you may miss it. They want their relationship with you WITHOUT the accountability that comes with discussing what happened.
They want to avoid the guilt, conviction and remorse that are necessary parts of reconciliation. They just want to come together without repentance.
With that maneuver, they foreclosed on resolving the affair issues. If you weren’t paying attention, you agreed with them and the matter has an “off limits” label on it.
With it being foreclosed and agreed to, the two of you buried an issue before it was fully resolved. You just wanted them back so much, you let them put you in an awkward spot.
That agreement will haunt you. Anytime you want to bring things up, they remind you of it and refuse discussing it. You may even hear “We moved on” or “We’re past that.”
A better goal is repairing their relationship with you. Coming back is only part of it. Having accountability concerning what happened is another major part.
Another thing you can do is clicking and downloading the video “Overcoming Affair Relapse”. There are other dangers that arise during affair recovery. Knowing what to look for equips you for the needed transformation in your marriage.
Click and download today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
