There are days I need encouragement. At those times, I need heart-felt, honest encouragement. Words that are true and words I can believe, even though I don’t feel like believing them.
During those times, the platitudes of “I’m praying for you” or “I’m thinking about you” or “God’s just going to bless you so much” just doesn’t cut it .
I’m not trying to be a sad sack in those moments. I understand how others find it painful to be around someone needing encouragement. I realize they may not know what to say or even find the words that could encourage me.
Even if they said “I don’t know what to say”, it would at least validate what I’m experiencing. This acknowledges me as a person. Platitudes have a dismissive note. They treat me like and object rather than a human who is hurting.
What makes platitudes like these hard to hear at such times is when they are delivered with syrupy sweet almost condescending tone. It’s one thing when they are heart-felt, but another when they’re insincere.
Those needing encouragement literally suck the energy out of others. It’s draining just being around them. I understand that. As a counselor I saw this routinely with needy and depressed clients.
What meant a lot to me was when someone was just there with me. I didn’t want entertaining or jokes, just someone who doesn’t run from the pain and the weariness. When someone just sat with me while I was in pain meant a great deal.
I don’t need them telling me what to do or think. I just need them to hear me out. I needed someone to hear my story and my pain.
I understand how the only thing some people can think of at those moments of discouragement like those that come with an affair are platitudes such as these. I can’t fault them for not knowing what to say in those moments when you are going through affair recovery.
Some of them may even be scared that Affair germs will rub off onto them and infect their marriage. There are no face masks, gloves or goggles protecting you from affair dangers.
When dealing with the affair on a daily basis, there will be times of discouragement. There are times you want a vacation from what life is throwing at you.
One of the things that helps during those times is when someone takes a personal interest in you and what you’re going through. Just knowing you’re not alone in your struggle provides some encouragement.
You know there are some burdens you have to carry alone, yet with someone you can share what you are going through with, it makes it survivable.
It’s at times like this you need someone to talk to. If you need that kind of help, contact me for a consultation or online therapy. Email me Jeff@RestoreTheFamily.com for available times and pricing.
When you hear someone say “I know what you’re going through” and they mean it, it helps. At those times, you know that someone else ‘get’s you’.
Contact me when you’re ready.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
