When it comes to affairs, you may have been one of those who shot yourself in the foot with self-defeating actions. In your reckless enthusiasm for ‘doing something’, you ended up hurting yourself. You may have even made the situation worse than it would’ve been. When it comes to relationships, there are plenty of ways to shoot yourself in the foot.
One common mistake is moving too fast. You get swept up in the moment and you end up pushing things too far. In your hast to make things happen, you end up creating more turmoil rather than bringing healing.
Self-defeating behavior is often one of the roadblocks keeping your marriage from working. There are many ways of defeating yourself. From the harmful things you say to the obsessive things that you do. Driving by the lover’s house and vandalizing your spouse’s property are only small samples of what you may have done.
Although such actions and words interfere with recovery, the bigger obstacles are ‘self-defeating thoughts’. Every smart-ass comment or obsessive behavior started as a self-defeating thought. Your own mind told you things that were driven more by fear and anger than love. You were told things about yourself, your appearance and your marriage.
Those thoughts are an enemy you need to subdue and bring under control if you want any chance of recovery. That’s where my ebook, “Why Wasn’t I Enough?” comes in. It addresses those self-defeating thoughts. It shows you what they are and what you can do about them along with the danger they pose to recovery.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
