When your personal space is invaded

When something touches your personal space, it magnifies every challenge in your life. Several years ago, a leak flooded my closet with water. Prior to this incident, I’d never thought of my closet as a significant part of my personal space. Now I realize it’s a very important part of personal space.

My clothes are now in several different places as repairs and remediation takes care of the problem. The whole episode has led to some exaggeration of other issues.

With my personal space touched, I have no retreat or island of safety in facing daily challenges and stressors. There is no place I can retreat to.

Affairs touch your personal space. They invade your physical, emotional and spiritual personal space. Any place you went in your head or physically to regroup has been affected. You find none of your personal spaces untouched by the stain of the affair. Everywhere you look, you see ugly fingerprints from what happened.

The loss of your personal space means that there’s little to no recharging. You have to face the daily challenges with no retreat.

It can be a lonely and difficult place. When your personal space has been invaded, it’s hard to not feel lost, scared and alone. Affairs are a touchstone issue that affect every other area of your life.

 

When all your retreats are cut off, what do you do? It’s at these times, you find out where and what your go-to is. The temptation of running away is strong.

These are times when setting boundaries is critical. When you don’t have a safe personal space, you have to create one. It might be something as simple as saying “no” more often or it could be something more drastic like changing jobs or leaving a relationship.

 

The bottom line is, if your personal space has been invaded, you have to do what’s necessary to create a new sense of safety and peace.

When you’re not used to setting boundaries, this phase of recovery is stressful. In the download, ‘Affair Recovery Workshop’, you’ll learn about boundaries and setting them up.

I invite you to join me with the workshop. When your back is against the wall, there are things you can do. They may not be pleasant things and take you out of your comfort zone. Serious problems call for serious solutions.

 

Keeping It Real,

 

Jeff

 

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